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young adults - issue

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by akhpad » Sun May 09, 2010 8:47 pm
Some young adults want independent from parents as soon as possible; others prefer to live with the family for longer time.

Which of those situations do you think is better, use specific reasons and example to support you opinion.


These days, in modern life, young adults get separated quite early from parents but I would suggest that young adults should stay with parents for longer time and support them. It entirely depends on the modern life style, how individual can feel more comfortable, or how they are emotionally attached to their parents.

Now a day, young adults are more advanced and more educated so they get the job quite early and easily and it might be far away from their native place where their parents are staying and hence adults can run a small family. So, they do not bother much about their parents.

Life style is a great concern in modern life therefore adults may feel uncomfortable with parents who might belong to old fashioned and live at remote place. As the life style has changed drastically adults prefer to stay in a metropolitan city to enjoy their life in new fashioned or in their own way with colleagues and friends rather than with their parents.

But when these adults are at age of children, parents help their children to grow and also full fill all their children's needs. So, when same turn came for adults; adults should take care all their parents' needs such as family support, food and medical expenses etc, and adults should keep their parents till their last age.

Therefore, I would suggest that adults should stay with their parents and make their life happier in old age. Separation can be momentary but the family responsibility should not be neglected.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by ArpanaAmishi » Sun Jun 13, 2010 11:15 pm
My Obeservations

1. Intor part can be better articulated

2. Use transition phrases to link up
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by grockit_andrea » Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:41 am
I agree about the transitions; using transition words at the beginning of each body paragraph will help with the flow of the essay. You might also want to spend more time editing, because there are numerous spelling, grammar, and usage issues. A few mistakes won't hurt your score, but when you have a consistent pattern of mistakes throughout the essay, that will be a problem. And your essay will be stronger if you use real examples, not just hypothetical ones. For instance, mentioning specific cultures and how the approach to this issue varies from place to place or group to group might be helpful in this essay.
Andrea A.
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