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wordiness

Expert replies
by nikhilsrl » Sun Feb 20, 2011 8:34 am
Though initially opposed to the measure, the governor approved the new needle exchange program at the urging of his own doctor, his chief advisers, and a coalition of some twenty social action groups.

A) at the urging of his own doctor, his chief advisers, and a coalition of some
B) as a consequence of having been urged by his own doctor, his chief advisers, and a coalition of some
C) on account of being urged by his own doctor, chief advisers, and a coalition of
D) as he was urged to do by his own doctor, his chief advisers, and a coalition of some
E) as his own doctor was urging him to do, along with his chief advisers, and a coalition of

OA is A

Why not D?
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Source: — Sentence Correction |

by Tani » Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:06 am
"At the urging of" = 4 words
"as he was urged to do by" = 7 words

You don't need the longer. It is not technically incorrect, just wordy.
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by tetura84 » Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:37 am
Tani Wolff - Kaplan wrote:"At the urging of" = 4 words
"as he was urged to do by" = 7 words

You don't need the longer. It is not technically incorrect, just wordy.
Also D is in passive voice.
But Tani, why not E? because of wordy?
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by navami » Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:03 am
D passive
B having been is awkward
C uses being unnecessarily
E as his own doctor was urging him to do, along with his chief advisers, and a coalition of
was urging him to do is not corrrect with along with his chief advisers : there is no verb in the latter part

Hence left with A
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