Waitlisted at my top choice, but accepted elsewhere

I am in a similar position as you, and have been successful in letting the other schools that accepted me delay my deposit deadlines. I wouldn't word it and say that you are waiting for school X explicitly, but say that you are strongly considering the schools that you got into, and that you want to make the best decision possible, but only can do that after all decisions come in.

If that fails, then put down the deposit on the school you like most of the ones who accepted you. If you can somehow break the deposit down to two payments, that could be even better, so if your top choice accepted you, you then are on the hook for less money.

So how kosher is it to break a commitment to a school? I guess I definitely feel "dirty" submitting my deposit and saying yes at one school, only to say no if the top choice says I'm in lol. I'm assuming people do this all the time?

People do that all the time to every type of school out there. You have to do what's best for you.

But to add some realism, if you are on the waitlist for any school, you statistically don't have much of a chance getting accepted, and that includes me, so you also want to really dig in and learn about the other schools that have welcomed you with open arms.

Either way with the money, delay it as long as you can, and more schools are likely to work with you than it seems.

I'm in a similar position. I learned of two acceptances about a month ago at two of my top choices (top 5 schools) but I have already paid my deposit to a top 30 school (w/ full scholarship).

At the same time, I'm not sure if I can even afford to attend my top choices now that I really dig deep down into how much it'll cost (will need more than just loans to pull it off).

So I'm tempted to keep the top 30 school a little while longer until I'm 100% sure I will not be attending it. But then it's almost July. My full scholarship at the top 30 could go to someone else who really needs it. And I feel bad for not letting that happen.

What will the top 30 school think when I call them just a few weeks before orientation to tell them I'm not coming? I understand they will keep my deposit, but I feel like I'm betraying them.

I suppose I can technically delay telling them that I'm not coming all the way until the day before orientation, right? But what's appropriate, more of a norm? I'm sure there are others accepted off of waitlists in the middle of the summer and then don't go to other schools they've paid deposits to, right? But they may not be hogging a scholarship all along which no one will end up getting because of their delayed notice to the school they are rejecting.

Any advice?

i agree with all the advice given so far. the schools will all be fine even if you decide at the last second to attend someplace different. life happens, and the adcoms understand it. the only real consideration (IMO) is to the sooner you make your decision, the sooner the schools where you've been accepted can start admitting people off THEIR waitlists, so it's more of a consideration factor than anything else. if you can exclude certain schools (sounds like you were accepted to more than one?), then as a courtesy to others, you could let them know sooner v later. that would allow them to start notifying their own wait listed candidates.

hope that's helpful,
-james young

Thanks guys.

I'm rapidly trying to solve this financial aid problem and as soon as I have any reasonable degree of clarity on that I'll let the other school know.

I've estimated that the total cost difference between the top 30 school with full scholarship and the top 5 school that I want to go (w/ no scholarship) will be almost $160,000. That's more of a difference than most other students would have due to some other special circumstances. I feel that it's worth paying an "extra" $160k for the top 5 school vs the top 30, but the problem is trying to finance that somehow. But that's a different discussion all together. The only reason I'm mentioning it here is because that's what is causing the delay in my decision-making.