Today I wrote my first AWA Essay after 3 months of studying for the GMAT. I used GMAT Write and scored a 4. Any thoughts on how this essay could be improved? I see I made a few spelling mistakes, will that hurt my score?
"The Excelsior Company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee. Since coffee is an expensive food item, and since there are already many established brands of coffee, the best way to gain customers for the Excelsior brand is to do what Superior, the leading coffee company, did when it introduced the newest brand in its line of coffees: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand."
The author is suggesting a marketing plan for the Excelsior Company's entrace into the crowded and exspenive coffee market. The plan is to mimic the leading coffee company, Superior, by conducting a temporary sales promotion. The author's plan is flawed because it fails to acccount that Superior is already a name brand prior to their newest coffee brand introduction, it discounts all other methods of gaining new customers, and it wants to mimic Superior's temporary sales promotion without giving the results.
First, the author wants to mimc the marketing plan of the leading coffee company, Superior. As the leading company, Superior already has the following of loyal customers. Thus, when Superior introduces new brands of coffee, they already have a loyal group of customers willing to try it. Excelsior does not have this loyal following yet and thus must rely on first time customers trying their brand of coffee.
Second, the author cites a temporary sales promotion as the best way to gain new customers. However, no other marketing strategies are discussed. There are many more marketing strategies for new prodcuts than temporary sales promotions. Thus, the author cannot signify one strategy as the best without discussing any others.
Third, the author wants Excelsior to conduct a temporary sales promotion, citing a recent strategy of the leading coffee company. However, there is no mention on if this strategy was successful. Perhaps the strategy was unsuccessful and the new brand of coffee was discontinued. Without any knowledge on how this strategy faired, the author cannot cite it as the best marketing strategy.
The author's argument can be strengthened by discussing if Superior's temporary sales promotion was successful and why other marketing strategies are inferior to the one discussed. By including this information, the author's conclusion can be evaluated more reliably. In its current form, the argument is flawed.
Mark
"The Excelsior Company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee. Since coffee is an expensive food item, and since there are already many established brands of coffee, the best way to gain customers for the Excelsior brand is to do what Superior, the leading coffee company, did when it introduced the newest brand in its line of coffees: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand."
The author is suggesting a marketing plan for the Excelsior Company's entrace into the crowded and exspenive coffee market. The plan is to mimic the leading coffee company, Superior, by conducting a temporary sales promotion. The author's plan is flawed because it fails to acccount that Superior is already a name brand prior to their newest coffee brand introduction, it discounts all other methods of gaining new customers, and it wants to mimic Superior's temporary sales promotion without giving the results.
First, the author wants to mimc the marketing plan of the leading coffee company, Superior. As the leading company, Superior already has the following of loyal customers. Thus, when Superior introduces new brands of coffee, they already have a loyal group of customers willing to try it. Excelsior does not have this loyal following yet and thus must rely on first time customers trying their brand of coffee.
Second, the author cites a temporary sales promotion as the best way to gain new customers. However, no other marketing strategies are discussed. There are many more marketing strategies for new prodcuts than temporary sales promotions. Thus, the author cannot signify one strategy as the best without discussing any others.
Third, the author wants Excelsior to conduct a temporary sales promotion, citing a recent strategy of the leading coffee company. However, there is no mention on if this strategy was successful. Perhaps the strategy was unsuccessful and the new brand of coffee was discontinued. Without any knowledge on how this strategy faired, the author cannot cite it as the best marketing strategy.
The author's argument can be strengthened by discussing if Superior's temporary sales promotion was successful and why other marketing strategies are inferior to the one discussed. By including this information, the author's conclusion can be evaluated more reliably. In its current form, the argument is flawed.
Mark
