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Somewhat embarrassed--not a great essay-- please rate

Expert replies
by kn2130 » Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:56 am
This was my first attempt at writing the essays during a practice CAT. Please let me know your thoughts. (I personally think the essay is really bad and am almost embarrassed to post it.)

ESSAY QUESTION:
"The purpose of government is not to ensure the financial well-being of its citizens, but rather to maintain order."

From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


YOUR RESPONSE:
In the preceding statement, the author states that the purpose of government is not to ensure the financial well-being of its citizens, but rather to maintain order. While there is some merit to this argument, and certainly there are many situations where it is best for the government not to interfere in financial matters, there have been many times in history when the government's involvement in ensuring the financial well-being of its citizens has been imperative in maintaining order -- maintaining order and the financial well-being of a nation's citizens are certainly not mutually exclusive.

One recent example that demonstrated the importance of the government's role in ensuring the financial well-being of its citizens is during the recent economic crisis. The United States government became involved to ensure the financial well-being of its citizens by taking different measures, ranging from its involvement in ensuring that more banks didn't fail to its involvement in trying to create new jobs. These were important steps that were crucial to the economic survival not only of its citizens, but of the nation as a whole.

A second example comes from looking at the level of crime and corruption in countries where poverty levels are at their highest. In poor nations such as the Dominican Republic and Haiti, for example, the levels of corruption and crime are higher than in nations such as the United States. In conditions of poverty, the citizens of a nation will often turn to theft and looting in order to ensure their survival and that their material needs are met. In many ways, it is the government's obligation to ensure the financial well-being of its citizens to provide chaos and maintain order.

In sum, it is the government's responsibility to ensure the financial well-being of its citizens to preserve the survival of the nation, such as was the case with the United States during the recent economic crisis, and to maintain order.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by GMAT680 » Tue Mar 16, 2010 12:00 pm
KN,

I think it is good. espcially if you wrote it in the given time and didn't edit it after the exam. I would say it one of the best that I read in this forum. I saw one major flaw on the last statement; however, ....its citizens to provide chaos.... I think you meant to prevent chaos.

When are you planing to take the exam? Please do let us know about your results.
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by kn2130 » Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:50 am
Wow! you really think so? Thanks. I feel so unsure about it. I hate the issue essay :(
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