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Rate my first GMAT essay

This topic has 1 member reply
frankghiselli Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
Joined
28 Jul 2017
Posted:
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Rate my first GMAT essay

Post Fri Jul 28, 2017 1:54 pm
“Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

Based on the trends in demand dynamics for coffee and cola, the author argues that that his entity should transfer investment funds from a cola company to a coffee company. This argument lacks a substantive basis in reality. Due the lack of tangible numbers other than age, a belief that predicted growth rates justify an investment in a company, and the conviction that sixty year old people today will have the same preferences as sixty year old people in the future, this investment would be unwarranted.

The argument is based on the fact that the purchase of cola declines with age as the purchase of coffee increases. This is hugely flawed because it gives no indication of a reference point for comparing the sales of either of these drinks. If cola sales among all age group averages ten times more than the respective sales for coffee, it does not matter that coffee sales have an increase over time. This can be likened to an champion athlete losing a bit of skill in his final years versus someone new to the sport making lots of progress. The expert will still have more skill than the beginner.

The author follows the notion that a predictive change in growth rates is enough to justify an investment in a company. This makes no sense because it gives no credence to things like business valuation or portfolio management and construction. If the coffee company costs one hundred times more than the cola company, is it logical to transfer funds from one company to another just because there might be a change in trends?

Finally, the author believes that the habits of old people are not susceptible to future change. People over the age of sixty today probably lack many similarities of those from a hundred years ago. They might have a preference for cola due to its higher level of popularity during their youth. Just because the author's coveted trend has lasted forty years does not mean that it will continue indefinitely.

This argument could easily be strengthened by looking at other factors that could merit an investment like the overall economy or the cheapness of the varying businesses. The use of tangible numbers like the units sold for each beverage would give the trends actual meaning. Market research could also be conducted to see if the future people over the age of sixty have a strong preference for cola right now.

The lack of sufficient information makes an investment of any kind unconscionable.

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elliotrowley Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
Joined
06 Aug 2017
Posted:
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Post Mon Aug 07, 2017 12:18 am
Hey frankghiselli,

I have read your essay and I appreciate your effort. To be frank, I'm not impressed with the introduction of your essay. I'm working with a professional academic writing company. I have experience in writing a number of essays and other academic tasks. So, I can easily evaluate the way you have written it. You need to improve it. Introduction must be impressive, otherwise your readers will not not interest to read the rest of your essay. I have shared here what I felt. I hope you can make it better.

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