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Rate my first ever essay

Expert replies
by ronnie1985 » Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:32 am
Dear Forum members, my virtual study buddies!!!
Please evaluate my first ever essay.

The topic is:-

"Leisure time is becoming an increasingly rare commodity largely
because technology has failed to achieve its goal of improving our
efficiency in our daily Pursuits"
Discuss the exent to whicb you agree or disagree with the foregoing
statement, Support your persPective using reasons and/or examples
from your experience, observation' reading, or acadcmic studies

the essay is attached.
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Follow your passion, Success as perceived by others shall follow you
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |