Hi, please let me know what score this essay might get, I have my exam coming up and your opinions are welcomed. This comes from a practice exam I just took from Manhattan GMAT.
The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
In the argument above, the author concludes that Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development, such as, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities rather than shopping. The premise of the argument is that a recent study showed that American spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping, which is causing America to lose its competitive edge relative to other countries. However, the argument is flawed because it ignores the economic and psychological benefits that American's derive from spending their time and hard earned money shopping for non-essential goods.
First, the argument wrongly assumes that there is no economic benefit to purchasing non-essential goods. When American's shop and purchase merchandise they help drive the output of the country and its GDP, one of the main factors of measuring a countries competitive edge. For example, during the current economic recession the president reduced taxes for Americans and even gave them rebates to encourage spending. The more shopping and spending Americans do, the more money is flowing in the economy, which drives further economic growth. If Americans saves their money instead of spend it on merchandise than it would have an opposite affect by reducing retail sales and, thus shrinking countries GDP.
Second, the reasoning in the argument is flawed because it assumes that American's are not already spending most of their time pursuing personal and communal development. Shopping might be a form of therapy for them to reward themselves for their achievements. Psychologists recommend shopping as a form of therapy for people who have busy lives. If you just focused all your time on work and personal development without the joy and pleasures of a leisure activity such as, shopping for non-essential goods, you might exhaust your body and mind. This would essentially result in a decrease in the individual's performance.
Moreover, the argument could be improved by providing context of the time spending activities by other countries. In particular, the author makes it sound negative that American's spend 25% of their time shopping for non-essential goods and believes this is in part why America is losing its competitive edge. However, the author does not provide us with context of how much time people in other countries spend shopping for non-essential goods. For all we know people in other developed countries spend half their time shopping and thus, American's are actually a lot better off.
In conclusion, the argument in the newspaper is flawed because it ignores the economic and psychological benefits American's derive by spending their time and hard earned money by shopping for non-essential goods. Moreover, the argument wrongly concludes that American's who spent on average a quarter of their leisure time shopping for non-essential goods, should spend more time focused on personal and communal development.
The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
In the argument above, the author concludes that Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development, such as, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities rather than shopping. The premise of the argument is that a recent study showed that American spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping, which is causing America to lose its competitive edge relative to other countries. However, the argument is flawed because it ignores the economic and psychological benefits that American's derive from spending their time and hard earned money shopping for non-essential goods.
First, the argument wrongly assumes that there is no economic benefit to purchasing non-essential goods. When American's shop and purchase merchandise they help drive the output of the country and its GDP, one of the main factors of measuring a countries competitive edge. For example, during the current economic recession the president reduced taxes for Americans and even gave them rebates to encourage spending. The more shopping and spending Americans do, the more money is flowing in the economy, which drives further economic growth. If Americans saves their money instead of spend it on merchandise than it would have an opposite affect by reducing retail sales and, thus shrinking countries GDP.
Second, the reasoning in the argument is flawed because it assumes that American's are not already spending most of their time pursuing personal and communal development. Shopping might be a form of therapy for them to reward themselves for their achievements. Psychologists recommend shopping as a form of therapy for people who have busy lives. If you just focused all your time on work and personal development without the joy and pleasures of a leisure activity such as, shopping for non-essential goods, you might exhaust your body and mind. This would essentially result in a decrease in the individual's performance.
Moreover, the argument could be improved by providing context of the time spending activities by other countries. In particular, the author makes it sound negative that American's spend 25% of their time shopping for non-essential goods and believes this is in part why America is losing its competitive edge. However, the author does not provide us with context of how much time people in other countries spend shopping for non-essential goods. For all we know people in other developed countries spend half their time shopping and thus, American's are actually a lot better off.
In conclusion, the argument in the newspaper is flawed because it ignores the economic and psychological benefits American's derive by spending their time and hard earned money by shopping for non-essential goods. Moreover, the argument wrongly concludes that American's who spent on average a quarter of their leisure time shopping for non-essential goods, should spend more time focused on personal and communal development.
