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Pls help to rate my essay - thank you!

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by cuong_kindman » Mon Sep 28, 2009 6:39 am
"Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of
the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region's manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of
innovative technologies."


The author of the article recommends Helios as a city of new business opportunities because of its low unemployment rate even in recession period, its history of creating more than its share of the region's manufacturing jobs and its attempt to attract more companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. There are other factors, which have not stated by the author, however, can make Helios not a good location for new business opportunities.

Firstly, Helios is the industrial center of the region. Many companies have already set up their offices and operations there. Hence, there will be less investment opportunities in the city. New companies may face more competition in Helios.

Secondly, the living costs and labor costs in Helios can be higher than other cities as it is the center of the region. This will make Helios a more costly location for companies to set up their business.

Last but not least, only companies which focus on research and development of innovative technologies will benefit from the city's policies. Other companies that want to grow their market share geographically, for example, will not receive the advantages from these policies.

In summary, the good facts of Helios the author has given will not guarantee Helios a location of new business opportunities. The author needs to give a more complete picture of investment opportunities in Helios so that companies can make sound investment decisions.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by salesian » Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:59 pm
i'd give it a 5-6
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