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Please review my first essay

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Total votes: 3

by dbruce80 » Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:21 am
Would greatly appreciate this
thanks all


Analysis of the Issue

Rather than using traditional question and answer interviews to evaluate job candidates, employers should observe candidates as they perform some of the jobs actual tasks.



Many businesses use different methods of evaluating whether a potential candidate is a good fit for their company. As it is imperative to get the right candidate and often as businesses are up against very tight deadlines they will choose one method over another, such as traditional Q/A or evaluation on the job. A close examination shows the limitations of businesses that use on the job evaluation over traditional q/a.

Firstly on the job evaluation falls down as it is too specific and fails to take into account different industries, job roles or specific specialims. Take the case of a university graduate, when they apply for a job out of college. They will enter the workplace with very little actual on the job experience, and probably very little related to their chosen field after college. It is almost impossible for this method to work as testing other skills like interpersonal, knowledge based skills, computing etc would be much more beneficial to ensuring the right candidate is selected. This method also fails to acknowledge that the employee can use training as a tool to get employees skill sets to a desired level, once they know they have the right ‘candidate fit’ for their culture and business needs.

Secondly it restricts the scope for which to judge an individual and how they may fit the specifc position. For examples you fail to take into account anything beyond how they do specific tasks and is a one-dimensional view on what a job role might entail. More important elements include; how well they might interact with other employees, what type of person they are, what drives them to succeed, what ambitions they have for the future etc. These are all key questions during a Q/A and help interviewers to filter how well the candidate may or may not fit within the culture of that particular work environment.

Finally it also creates a false environment in which to evaluate work. If workers know they are being closely watched they may excel and behave in a manner, which is unique to the situation, they are in. Conversely they may not perform to the best of their ability due to the fact the whole situation makes them feel uncomfortable and uneasy. This manufactured environment may work against the employer in finding the right candidate.

In conclusion I believe any firm that uses on the job training over traditional Q/A is seriously restricting the tools of evaluating the best candidates for their company. In an ideal world you would use Q/A interviews with other additional elements - one such element could well be on the job evaluation. But as deadlines and budgets are tight for multi faceted evaluations of candidates, the best and most trusted method of finding the right candidate will always be the traditional interview.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by 4seasoncentre » Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
I quickly skimmed through it and in general I think it is a good essay.

The following is just my opinion and my only credential is that I scored a 6.

- I would avoid abbreviations/acronyms. I consider all essays to be formal. You can probably get away with etc., however, remember that one of your markers will be a computer and the computer might not recognize what "Q/A" stands for. It is possible that the GMAT people will tell the computer to acknowledge "Q/A" for this question specifically, but who really knows how the machine works.
- I like to introduce the points of my argument in my first paragraph. The study guide I used recommends it but I don't know if it scores any points.
- Although even in formal essays I will use the term "I", I avoided it on the GMAT because I don't know whether the markers penalize first person. When I got desperate I used the term "we" once. Hopefully someone else on the list can comment.
- I notice you used the term "they" when you really mean "he or she". Remember, "they" grammatically refers to more than person. Likewise, people often use "their" when they mean "his or her". This is commonly accepted in English when people refer to someone they don't know the gender of, but it is grammatically wrong so I would avoid it on the essay. It makes it more wordy, but I always spelled out "his or her" and "he or she".
Firstly on the job evaluation falls down as it is too specific ...
I don't agree with the use of the term "falls down" in this context.
For examples you fail to take into account...
Did you mean, "for example,"?
More important elements include;
Use a colon ":" to introduce a list.

In general I liked the essay and hope I don't come off as a hard @$$. I hope you'll find something constructive in my feedback and I wish you luck on your GMAT.
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by 4seasoncentre » Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:11 pm
I have just flipped through the AWA section of the Official Guide 11th Edition. I probably should have read it before writing the GMAT, but I bought it in addition to the Kaplan guide to qualify for free shipping and never got around to it.

The sample score 6 essay does use the term "I" and does not outline the arguments in the opening paragraph. So those two recommendations of mine were just my style but will not harm your score if you don't follow.
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