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Please review/grade my Analysis of an Argument Essay :?

Expert replies
by y.casso » Sun Aug 22, 2010 4:45 pm
"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers - Some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for Motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine -roar on the sound track"

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the logically sound, and what if anything, would help you better evaluate this conclusion.


It is somewhat hard to explain and discuss a topic of which you don't have enough information. The argument above is an example of that. The author seems to be clear that the evidence acquired to evaluate the argument is not enough information to prove a point. The author omits premises that could make this argument sound more logical.

In the argument it is never stated what could be some other explanations Customer of Motorcycle X are not buying the copied motorcycle. If besides of saying that motorcycle X make an exceptionally loud noise, which could be the reason why some people prefer this motorcycle instead of the copy, the author would ask those people what else makes them prefer this product, maybe that would have given the author more ideas of what is really making the difference.

We know that some people gave their opinion, but who are those people? We need the response of a group of customers from a different background to give their opinion in order for us to come up with a fair conclusion. The author does not mentions who are these people, from where are these people, or how many people gave their opinion. Not everybody looks for the same features on a motorcycle, people from a different background look for different things, and after evaluating what everybody really likes about motorcycle X, the average people would tell us what is really the most important features of the motorcycle and which of those is that attract them the most.

The author introduces an evidence from a television advertisement which does not make this argument any stronger. This argument would have been stronger if the advertisement would have shown the motorcycle in action. That would have tell the author more about the features of the motorcycle. Also since the author is not happy with the reason given to prove why most customer of Motorcycle X prefer this motorcycle instead of the copy, the author could have come up with surveys and conduct those surveys from motorcycle X customers and those who have used the copied motorcycle.

In conclusion, this argument presents several flaws that must be addressed in order to make it sound more logical. The author is not happy with the conclusion but he does not do enough to prove that it is not the best conclusion. By introducing more evidence, this argument would have been stronger.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by Anurag@Gurome » Thu Aug 26, 2010 11:37 am
I would rate it at 4-4.5.

Strengths:

Good length
Reasonable structure and flow
Good syntactic variety
Not too many grammar and/or spelling mistakes

Suggestions for improvement:

Need a better analysis of the argument structure and the gaps/assumptions
Need more specific discussion of the gaps/assumptions
Anurag Mairal, Ph.D., MBA
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