Please rate my essay Furniture Depot

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Please rate my essay Furniture Depot

by theachiever » Wed Dec 19, 2012 12:45 am
Analysis of Argument
The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses: Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability.




The argument states the role played by the Internet advertising company has been instrumental in the success of Furniture Depot.It states how efficiently the sales increased by 10% compared to it's previous year stats.The argument in this regard is flawed since internet advertising might not be the only reason.

Secondly,more statistical figures would help support this argument and justify the claim that Internet advertising company helped Furniture Depot increase it's sales.
Such statistical figures should be made available in order to assess the level of demand for the advertising company and if only the internet advertising company can be credited for this success.Such a move can also help internet advertising companies attract not only potential clients but also showcase the company as a transparent and a genuine organization.

Thirdly as mentioned above to state that only internet advertising company is responsible for Furniture Depot's success would be incorrect since Furniture Depot as an organization would have executed things and planned it's marketing and promotion in several other ways too.

In order to achieve success , an organization as a whole lays the foundation, plans things accordingly executes it by also depending on other facilities such as public promotional campaigns,posters,pamphlet-distribution in public places such as a church etc thereby encouraging and attracting audience to showcase them an overview as to what exactly are the nuances of the organization are.

In a similar fashion described above,Furniture Depot too as an organization would have implemented things which can also be a reason why it has achieved profits and increase in sales.

A better assessment of the above argument can be made by taking all the above mentioned factors.
Resilience is a trait that manifests in an individual when he/she faces consistent failures motivating them to succeed in the end.

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by awaratr » Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:41 am
Hi rated your essay using the free online tool available at gmatawa.com

Your score: 4.61 out of 6.00 (or in actual gmat terms may be a 4.5)

Coherence and connectivity: 2.5/5
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5

You can yourself verify at gmatawa.com

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by theachiever » Wed Dec 19, 2012 3:24 am
Thanks for the rating... :) .Try and provide any inputs if you can.I am sure it will be helpful.The more you criticize the essay the higher my score can shoot upto... :)
Resilience is a trait that manifests in an individual when he/she faces consistent failures motivating them to succeed in the end.