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Total votes: 4

by jsdj » Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:44 pm
"The invention of the Internet has created more problems than it has solved. Most people would have a higher quality of life had the Internet never been invented."


Although the internet is now in many homes and almost every business throughout the world, it was actually invented fourty years ago. People have adapted to this new invention and now use it on a daily basis, whether for work, for education, or for leisure. The author states that the internet has created more problems and therefore people would have better lives if the internet had never been invented. The invention of the internet is if not the best, one of the greatest inventions in the last century.

Primarily, the internet is an amazing tool because it is an information sharing system. It allows people seeking information to easily find it with a few keystrokes and the click of a mouse. People can find anything from how to cook a delicious meal to what started World War II. There are so many different sources of information from university websites to Wikipedia, a website where users can actually write about different subjects for anyone in the entire world to see. Having the internet is like having the largest library in the world at your fingertips. This remarkable invention has actually increased knowledge throughout the world.

The internet is a great part of our lives because it has increased communication with the rest of the world, therefore greatly increasing globalization. Businesses can now find better products by communicating with businesses in other countries. This has increased worldwide trade exponentially. We are able to get products from around the world by just going online and ordering from any companies' website. The ability to communicate with people in other countries so easily, has allowed our cultures to coexist with each other. If it were not for the internet, it would continue to be difficult to communicate with people from other nations.

Although the internet has many positive things that have changed the world, it also has some negative ones. The author is partially correct in this aspect. Many work hours are lost daily from employees surfing the web, when they should be working instead. This leads to workers' inability to perform, costing companies billions of dollars in lost time and productivity. However, saying that we would have a higher quality of life without the internet is extreme.

In sum, the internet has been an incredible asset to human kind by increasing the amount of information available to anyone and exponentially increasing globalization. The internet does have some negative aspects, but clearly the pros outweigh the cons. The author's statement is one of extremity and does not clearly analyze the benefits that the internet has brought to our society.


Any constructive replies will be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone!
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by Isaac@EconomistGMAT » Tue Dec 07, 2010 5:45 pm
Actually a very good essay in the 5-5.5 range.

Make sure you use linking words once in a while (furthermore, for instance, etc). Also, it is preferable to go into one example in more detail rather than many or a list of examples. Official/real examples are always best.

Also, in the intro, make sure you do not copy the same phrasing as in the topic prompt.

Briefly then, your organization and writing are just fine.
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by frank1 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:57 am
Nice one but i think the structure and wording of the essay are much inline with the sample essay of kalpan premiere book.
Not bad one but i think it would have been better to try another topic rather than doing same one that has been done in book.

But i agree,still it is good.
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