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Please grade issue essay

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by kriti87 » Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:53 pm
The best way to make a company profitable is to encourage cooperation and collaboration rather than promote employee competition.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.

Essay:


I partially agree with the above viewpoint that to make a company profitable,
employees must cooperate and collaborate with each other, rather than
compete. I will elaborate on my reasons for partially agreeing with this
statement because there are certain disadvantages and advantages for both
cooperation and competition among employees.

To begin with, every organization today fosters team spirit, innovation, and
collaboration. The hierarchy in organizations is slowly and gradually flattening
out to improve communication and team work. Whether there are crucial
assignments or project deadlines to be met, employees have to work together,
in tandem, to get the tasks completed. At this point, they need to help each
other out and deliver results. For example, firms such as Deloitte Consulting,
PriceWaterHouse Coopers, Ernst & Young etc. foster this ideology of
cooperation and collaboration to get the maximum out of their employees.

Conversely, if employees constantly work in an environment, which only
encourages them and does not highlight their faults, they may become
complacent and consequently their performance will decline. In such cases, if
there is a strong system of evaluation such as performance ratings or
incentives, then employees are motivated to perform well and outshine their
competitors. Such an environment is beneficial to the organization and in the
quest for exceeding profit margins, employees work better.

Thus, there is no "best way" of running an organization, but as long as the
employees maintain healthy competition, the organization is sure to rake in the
profits.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by thb_1981 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 8:48 am
3.5/10

Choice of words, correct forms of words, and structure of essay need improvement. Also, in my opinion, you're not exhibiting depth of thought in this essay.
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