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Output of ironwork

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by Sent » Wed May 11, 2016 9:01 pm
Hi, had trouble on the following problem:

Over the course of the eighteenth century, the average output of ironwork tripled as a result of several improvements in blowing machinery and because coal replaced charcoal as the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore.

A. Over the course of the eighteenth century, the average output of ironwork tripled as a result of several improvements in blowing machinery and because coal replaced charcoal as the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore.
B. Over the course of the eighteenth century a tripling in the average output of ironwork was due to the replacement of charcoal by coal for the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore, in addition to several improvements in blowing machinery.
C. With charcoal's being replaced by coal as the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore and several improvements in blowing machinery, the average output of ironwork tripled over the eighteenth century.
D. The replacement of charcoal with coal for the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore and several improvements in blowing machinery, the average output of ironwork tripled over the eighteenth century.
E. Charcoal being replaced by coal as the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore, and several improvements in blowing machinery, which tripled the average output of ironwork over the course of the eighteenth century.

OA A.

This is one of those questions where I felt every answer choice was wrong. I eliminated C, D and E very quickly but had trouble choosing between A and B. For A, I didn't like this because it didn't feel parallel - i.e. tripled as a result of X and because of Y felt wrong (thought it should have been "and of Y" or "and as a result of Y"). What is wrong with this line of thinking? And what specifically is wrong with my chosen answer, B?
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Source: — Sentence Correction |

by MartyMurray » Thu May 12, 2016 10:53 pm
Sent wrote:This is one of those questions where I felt every answer choice was wrong. I eliminated C, D and E very quickly but had trouble choosing between A and B. For A, I didn't like this because it didn't feel parallel - i.e. tripled as a result of X and because of Y felt wrong (thought it should have been "and of Y" or "and as a result of Y"). What is wrong with this line of thinking? And what specifically is wrong with my chosen answer, B?
Let's start with what's wrong with B.

B is sort of ok. However, it's a little awkward overall, and maybe the most obvious issue is in this part, due to the replacement of charcoal by coal for the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore, in addition to several improvements in blowing machinery.

What in addition to several improvements in blowing machinery works with is challenging to decipher. Is fuel used in improvements in blowing machinery? Is charcoal in addition to improvements in blowing machinery? I guess one could figure out what is going on, but a more effective sentence would clearly convey what is going on.

Now, regarding A, the parallelism is fine.

Constructions do not have to be exactly the same to be parallel. Consider the following example, which contains a parallel list of items that have similarities and differences.

John ran up the stairs, quickly searched the rooms and found, hidden behind a curtain, the missing boy.

In A, we have two adverbial constructions modifying tripled, and both of them indicate reason.

- as a result of several improvements in blowing machinery

- because coal replaced charcoal as the fuel used in the smelting of iron ore

While I am not 100% sure that they both have indicate reason in order to be parallel, they do, and so they are clearly parallel.

For more insight into adverbial constructions see the following.

https://grammar-monster.com/lessons/adve ... hrases.htm
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by jain2016 » Fri May 13, 2016 10:24 pm
Hi Experts ,

Please give a reason to eliminate option D.

Many thanks in advance.

SJ
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by MartyMurray » Sat May 14, 2016 4:05 am
jain2016 wrote:Hi Experts ,

Please give a reason to eliminate option D.

Many thanks in advance.

SJ
Look at D again. If you don't see what's wrong with it, maybe you read it too fast. There is a glaring issue, and if you don't see that issue, then having someone point it out is not really going to help you score higher. You have been preparing for a while, and at some point you have to develop skill in seeing issues. Probably you are better off pondering D until you see the issue than having someone point out such an obvious, non rule driven issue.
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