I have been writing a story recently, it is not complete but can you still tell me if it is good?
TO THE PAST AND BACK:
Chapter 1:
I stood up.My legs felt week; my knees smacked off each other, it was easy to notice.The hall was hushed; a sea of eyes focused on my emerald ones as I played with my aricomous hair; this made me feel like a coward. I said my line clearly, it echoed through the crammed hall.
Faith and Quinn hurried to me repeting my name like a broken record "Serina!Serina!" They cried before running to my side. Quinn's tawny curls tickled my side; I have always had been best friends with her, Faith hung around to keep us happy, we don't mind, she is a friend of ours to.
"What on earth was that?" Quinn questioned "I thought you want to be an actress; mind, you are getting nowhere if your going to act like that infrount of bubbly kids." She took a breath before babbling on about how I need that 'boost' of confidence. I protended to be listening but my eyes were focused on Annie who was begining to mimic my best friends. Quinn paused. She turned on her heals, becoming face to face with the evil girl, things are not looking good...
Chapter 2:
After the little argument, I returned home with Quinn and Faith, Alice was sat on the couch, her fuchsia hair was covering her sholders and a twinkle danced in her cerulean eyes."Serina." She began "Mummy and daddy went to see grandpa and grandma." She took notice of my friends and gave a small laugh,she knows them too well to be true. Savannah came rampaging down the stairs to see who it was, she was carrying her mp3player,as usual, she took a glance at me and sat down. I slumped beside her budging to play pokemon whilest Quinn and Faith pushed eachother to watch the 'master' at work.The night soon fell and the girls went home.
The night dragged by and I didnt get a second sleep of it. I havent slept for a while, I keep having these dreams that make me sketch them. Every day i tell Quinn my dreams and she just clasps her hands together, flutters her eyes and says "Little Serina going to be an auther." This always gets on my nerves and she knows it. Back in Nursery I wrote a story about a woman who could only move her arms and competed in the olymics, everybody said it was rediculus, apart from Quinn, of corse.
As soon as morning came I slipped into my uniform and trugged down the stairs slowly, grabbed my bag and walked out the door."Goodness, Serina, you look dead to the world!" Faith 'politly' commented. "A Nyxus i-" Faith was interupted by a glisten of light that made me disapear...
I re-appeared, this time it was not in school, it was in the land I see in my dreams! My head looked into the lazuline water, I did not see me.
I saw a pale figure with no colour nor pupils but still had an outline, the thing had four long teeth glancing out of its thin mouth.
TO THE PAST AND BACK:
Chapter 1:
I stood up.My legs felt week; my knees smacked off each other, it was easy to notice.The hall was hushed; a sea of eyes focused on my emerald ones as I played with my aricomous hair; this made me feel like a coward. I said my line clearly, it echoed through the crammed hall.
Faith and Quinn hurried to me repeting my name like a broken record "Serina!Serina!" They cried before running to my side. Quinn's tawny curls tickled my side; I have always had been best friends with her, Faith hung around to keep us happy, we don't mind, she is a friend of ours to.
"What on earth was that?" Quinn questioned "I thought you want to be an actress; mind, you are getting nowhere if your going to act like that infrount of bubbly kids." She took a breath before babbling on about how I need that 'boost' of confidence. I protended to be listening but my eyes were focused on Annie who was begining to mimic my best friends. Quinn paused. She turned on her heals, becoming face to face with the evil girl, things are not looking good...
Chapter 2:
After the little argument, I returned home with Quinn and Faith, Alice was sat on the couch, her fuchsia hair was covering her sholders and a twinkle danced in her cerulean eyes."Serina." She began "Mummy and daddy went to see grandpa and grandma." She took notice of my friends and gave a small laugh,she knows them too well to be true. Savannah came rampaging down the stairs to see who it was, she was carrying her mp3player,as usual, she took a glance at me and sat down. I slumped beside her budging to play pokemon whilest Quinn and Faith pushed eachother to watch the 'master' at work.The night soon fell and the girls went home.
The night dragged by and I didnt get a second sleep of it. I havent slept for a while, I keep having these dreams that make me sketch them. Every day i tell Quinn my dreams and she just clasps her hands together, flutters her eyes and says "Little Serina going to be an auther." This always gets on my nerves and she knows it. Back in Nursery I wrote a story about a woman who could only move her arms and competed in the olymics, everybody said it was rediculus, apart from Quinn, of corse.
As soon as morning came I slipped into my uniform and trugged down the stairs slowly, grabbed my bag and walked out the door."Goodness, Serina, you look dead to the world!" Faith 'politly' commented. "A Nyxus i-" Faith was interupted by a glisten of light that made me disapear...
I re-appeared, this time it was not in school, it was in the land I see in my dreams! My head looked into the lazuline water, I did not see me.
I saw a pale figure with no colour nor pupils but still had an outline, the thing had four long teeth glancing out of its thin mouth.
