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Modifier alternative?

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by rkav » Sat Jul 27, 2013 11:44 am
Choreographer George Balanchine founded the School of American Ballet, which enrolled many famous dancers, that included Mikhail Baryshnikov and Suzanne Farrell.

a. which enrolled many famous dancers, that included Mikhail Baryshnikov and Suzanne Farrell
b. enrolled many famous dancers, who included Mikhail Baryshnikov and Suzanne Farrell
c. which enrolled many famous dancers, including Mikhail Baryshnikov and Suzanne Farrell
d. that enrolled many famous dancers, that included Mikhail Baryshnikov and Suzanne Farrell
e. who enrolled many famous dancers, including Mikhail Baryshnikov and Suzanne Farrell

Spoiler underneath........







quick question if answer choice C didnt exist and B read: " , which enrolled many famous dancers, who included Mikhail Baryshnikov and Suzanne Farrell" would that be another way to correct the sentence? (essentially adding "which" at the beginning of the clause).

Thanks.
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Source: — Sentence Correction |

by [email protected] » Sat Jul 27, 2013 3:29 pm
Hi rkav,

It would appear that you already know what the correct answer is, so I'll just answer your question.

The word "who" wouldn't make sense after the comma. The modifier is "many famous dancers", so you need the next phrase to fit the modifier and that phrase wouldn't include the pronoun "who." It would consist of some of the "many famous dancers"; stylistically, the word "including" tells us that the information is "timeless." (Those dancers were famous yesterday, they're famous today and they'll likely be famous tomorrow so a gerund/-ing verb is required).

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by rkav » Sat Jul 27, 2013 3:54 pm
Thank you Rich!

In the same situation instead of "who" would "such as" work ?
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by [email protected] » Sat Jul 27, 2013 6:06 pm
Hi rkav,

When naming some members of a group (and if you use the word "and"), the proper style is to use "including" rather than "such as."

eg. The school enrolled many famous dancers, including Baryshnikov and Farrell.

"Such as" is more appropriate for individual members of a group (notice the use of the word "or").

eg The school wished to hire a famous dancer, such as Baryshnikov or Farrell, to teach the class.

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by sparkles3144 » Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:06 pm
Is C the answer?
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by [email protected] » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:11 pm
Hi sparkles3144,

The answer is C.

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