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misplaced modifiers

Expert replies
by en.mohitgupt » Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:04 am
Brought on by weightlessness in protracted space flight, besides the obvious hazards of meteors, rocky
debris, and radiation, astronauts also have to deal with muscle atrophy.


a. Brought on by weightlessness in protracted space flight, besides the obvious hazards of meteors,
rocky debris, and radiation, astronauts also have to deal with muscle atrophy.

b. Besides the obvious hazards of meteors, rocky debris, and radiation in protracted space flight,
astronauts also have to deal with muscle atrophy, which is brought on by weightlessness.

c. In protracted space flight, besides the obvious hazards of meteors, rocky debris, and radiation,
astronauts also have to deal with muscle atrophy brought about through weightlessness.

d. Besides the obvious hazards of protracted space flight, which include meteors, rocky debris, and
radiation, astronauts also have to deal with another problem, which is the muscle atrophy that
occurs after an extended period of weightlessness.

e. Besides the obvious hazards of meteors, rocky debris, and radiation, astronauts in protracted space
flight also have to deal with muscle atrophy brought on by weightlessness.


experts please help..
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Source: — Sentence Correction |

by Kasia@EconomistGMAT » Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:17 am
Points to consider:
- do the expressions "brought about" and "brought on" have similar meaning?
- are any answer choices unnecessarily long?
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by Bill@VeritasPrep » Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:45 am
A can be eliminated for awkward construction: starting with two modifying phrases ("Brought on..." and "besides...") Additionally, "brought on..." should be describing "muscle atrophy", but they are at opposite ends of the sentence.

B is better, but the placement of "in protracted space flight" is odd. It appear to only describe "radiation", and I'm not sure that's the intended meaning.

C has the same double-modifier problem as A, and I think "brought about through" is awkward and incorrect.

D has two modifying phrases as well, but in this case they're not that bad (using a relative clause to modify "hazards"). The second half of the sentence, though, is awkward and overly wordy.

E is a good answer. It is very similar to B with two key differences. First, "in protracted space flight" is used to modify "astronauts", which makes more sense in the context of the hazards. Second, "muscle atrophy brought on by weightlessness" is more direct than B's "muscle atrophy, which is brought on by weightlessness."
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by en.mohitgupt » Wed Jun 13, 2012 10:10 am
Bill@VeritasPrep wrote:A can be eliminated for awkward construction: starting with two modifying phrases ("Brought on..." and "besides...") Additionally, "brought on..." should be describing "muscle atrophy", but they are at opposite ends of the sentence.

B is better, but the placement of "in protracted space flight" is odd. It appear to only describe "radiation", and I'm not sure that's the intended meaning.

C has the same double-modifier problem as A, and I think "brought about through" is awkward and incorrect.

D has two modifying phrases as well, but in this case they're not that bad (using a relative clause to modify "hazards"). The second half of the sentence, though, is awkward and overly wordy.

E is a good answer. It is very similar to B with two key differences. First, "in protracted space flight" is used to modify "astronauts", which makes more sense in the context of the hazards. Second, "muscle atrophy brought on by weightlessness" is more direct than B's "muscle atrophy, which is brought on by weightlessness."
thanks bill for you help
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by finmaster » Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:00 pm
E makes sense
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by karthikgmat » Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:26 pm
I was with B until I read option E.

Definitely option E is good answer.

Is B wrong because of radiation in protracted space flight . Does it sound like hazards meteors and rocky debris are not applicable to space flight but just radiation?
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