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Admissions Success Stories Let's Review Each Other's Practice Essays

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molly12 Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts
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Let's Review Each Other's Practice Essays

Post Mon Jun 12, 2017 3:53 pm
Hi Everyone!
I know I'd love some advice on my practice AWA's, so I'm sure others do too. Below is my sample topic and response. Would you please critique mine and feel free to leave your practice essays for myself and others to critique.
Good luck to everyone!!!

"Our research indicates that over the past six years no incidents of employee theft have been reported within 10 of the companies that have been our clients. In analyzing the security practices of these 10 companies, we have further learned that each of them requires its employees to wear photo identification badges while at work. In the future, therefore, we should recommend the use of such identification badges to all of our client"



The author’s argument requiring that employees wear identification badges will reduce employee theft is not entirely convincing. The claim stated above concludes identification badges are the root cause of a decline in employee theft based upon a survey of ten companies. The logic behind the author’s foundation is flawed in several ways.

First, the author’s conclusion is based upon the study of 10 companies. However, these companies which were surveyed may have a history of having fewer employee thefts that the industry or national averages. The statement that for the past six years no thefts have been reported within these ten companies may have no indication to the number of thefts which occur in other companies. This survey may have been taken in a demographic in which little to no employee theft occurs.

Second, the argument implies that the identification badges are the explanation for the decline in thefts. The argument states that each of the ten firms surveyed require its employees to wear identification badges. The assumption that wearing an identification badge will reduce employee theft is flawed since an identification badge could be copied. There are numerous examples of identification fraud. The use of identification badges is not sufficient evidence to prove the author’s argument.

Finally, if there has been a decline the in reported number of employee thefts, there could be other policies enforced which has led to this reduction. For background, checks could be a newly adopted policy which would filter the employees which would be candidates for hire. By adopting background checks for policies of similar nature, companies would have the ability to hire employees who have illustrated good moral character and integrity.

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