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Kindly rate my essay and guide on improving on AWA

Expert replies
by arunima88 » Wed Jun 13, 2012 3:57 am
The following appeared in the editorial section of a corporate newsletter:

"The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs."

Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.


Friction with Management with its staff has been prevalent over many years. There are those who debate over insufficient salary, those who assert that management is not providing them proper increments, and those who believe that management is only good at making their employees work too hard. In the preceding statement, the author claims that nowadays workers take keen interest in activities in improving the corporate policies and programmes. Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on several premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers; we cannot accept his argument as valid.

The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies in his unsubstantiated premises. He presents a survey to prove his point. As per the survey, 79 percent out of 1200 workers have desired in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefit programs. Now, a major flaw in this survey is the number of workers serving in the organization. The survey result would have been acceptable if the number of workers working in the organization was 2000. But for a large organization where the number of employees goes above 200000, the result is completely meaningless. The author's premises, the basis for his argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.

In addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. He is basing his statement on only one survey. There are no silver bullets or single actions that will easily end the common behavior amongst workers. The workers feel that its management is not providing sufficient salary which they are entitled for the duties they serve. Moreover, the workers could have taken interest in those benefit programs of the company which are not related to them. The author weakens his argument by making assumptions and failing to provide explication of the links between worker and the management he assumes exist.

While the author has made a key issue against the common notion that is not to say that the entire argument is without base. He could have detailed the survey results such as training programs; Family benefits programs from the company which the employees are satisfied. He could have surveyed more companies across the world. The reason for the interest of the workers in the management issues could have been addressed. Though there are several issues with the author's reasoning at present, with research and clarification, he could improve significantly.

In sum, the author's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. Even though the work culture has changed over the years, but then also there are some issues which has to be addressed between the employees and its management on a continuous basis. If the author truly hopes to change his readers' mind on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned arguments will likely convince few people.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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