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Issue essay - Success, please rate

Expert replies

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by antest07 » Sat May 16, 2009 7:19 am
“There is only one definition of success — to be able to spend your life in your own way.”

The author of the topic states that the definition of success is to be able to do what he wants. The problem with the statement is that it defines success in an overly limited way. While I acknowledge that a person who does not need to worry about on earning bread and butter should be quite wealthy, I would contend that satisfaction is the fundamental base of success.

Firstly, a person who claims that he is successful must at least proud of himself. A comprehensive picture of success will account of one’s achievement on career, marriage and knowledge at large. These factors reflect not only the abilities of a particular person, but also show how much effort he has devoted to his life. A person is respectable only if he has passion and a positive attitude towards his responsibilities.

In addition, a person who has no friends cannot be deemed as success. No people who handle relationship with others badly can truly be satisfied. It is obvious that successful people have harmonious families. A family with conflicts can not make a person to be satisfied. Most successful celebrities such as David Beckham and Richard Branson always emphasized on how they can manage their families and employees effectively.

My final point is that many unsuccessful person lives on what they desire. Gamblers and convicts do what they want and they create many social problems, yet they are not successful in anything. It is naïve to live solemnly on what you desire but create problems at the same time, as one day you have to deal with the consequences of what you have done.

In summary, success should be defined in terms of achievement and satisfaction at large. One has to strive hard to accomplish his objectives so as to live a meaningful life.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by myohmy » Sat May 16, 2009 11:22 am
Overall structure is good and you make a good argument.

I don't think your examples are specific enough. The issue essay really seems to hinge on the specificity and relevance of your examples. In your case, you only have one real world (not hypothetical or general) example: "Most successful celebrities such as David Beckham and Richard Branson always emphasized on how they can manage their families and employees effectively" and it's not expanded on. Each paragraph should have one example from literature, history, current events --- sometimes, I even make them up if I'm *totally* stumped.
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