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GMAT Prep 2nd AWA - my last attempt before GMAT!

Expert replies
by gettingwanderlust » Thu Mar 12, 2015 2:52 pm
Hi experts, or Katharine!
This is going to be my very last attempt before my exam scheduled on this Saturday.
I always appreciate your help! Thanks :)


The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles:
"In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and
fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain
flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door,
the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of
the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires."
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The magazine article concludes that people nowadays do not care about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses compared to a decade ago. However, this relies on several unsupported assumptions and fails to be persuasive.

First of all, the author assumes that the wide selection of fatty cheeses at Heart's Delight, a grocercy store, proves that people are not concerned with intaking them. However, regardless of the wide selection of cheeses, customers may prefer to buy other organic fruits or vegetables and not buy fatty cheeses. Also, the number of kinds of cheeses provided at Heart's Delight stores may have decreased significantly from a decade ago.

In addition, the writer's claim is rooted in the assumption that how much money the owner of beef restaurant has can denote the increased popularity of red meat intakes among people. However, the writer seems to be confused with the causality and coincidence issue. In fact, it might be the case that the owner of a "new" beef restaurant is richer than the one of an "old" vegetarian restaurant, because people simply prefer to eat at a newer place. Also, maybe the most popular dish which made the owner of House of Beef become a millionaire does not contain any red meat. Moreover, he may have become so rich because he won a lottery or invested in a successful business.

In order to support his argument, the author of the magazine article should provide the statistics or research that shows there are now more kinds of fatty cheeses sold at Heart's Delight compared to a decade ago and they are actually selling better than before. Also, the author should further explain how the owner of House of Beef has become in millionaire. If it was because of people's preference of red meats over that of vegetarian foods, it can strenghten the author's claim.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by Katharine@GMATPrepNow » Fri Mar 13, 2015 11:56 am
Hello gettingwanderlust,

Good luck on the exam tomorrow! I only have a few minor comments. You can say food intake or eating food, but "intaking" isn't the right use of that word. Toward the end, I think you mean "become a millionaire." "Strengthen" instead of "strenghten." Otherwise, I think this response looks fine. Your intro/conclusion were clear and to the point. I don't see any errors that would lose you points.

I hope these comments have been hopeful as you prepare. I'm sure you'll do well tomorrow!
Katharine Rudzitis - BA
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