Hello everyone,
I would be very grateful if you could please give me feedback on a practice AWA essay that I just completed today. As my exam is in a week's time, any help would be much appreciated!
Thanks in advance,
Olamide
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The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
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The extract above has been taken from an annual report that was sent to stockholders of Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods, and thus its primary purpose is to inform such stockholders of, amongst other things, the financial health of the business. Understandably, part of this information should focus on the company's future plans with regards to its costs and/or overall profits, as this extract does.
The main conclusion of this argument is that Olympic Foods, by virtue of it celebrating its 25th birthday, can expect that its "long experience" will enable it to "minimize costs and thus maximize profits". The author proposes evidence from the color film processing industry, in which the cost of printing fell from $0.50 for five-day service in 1970 to $0.20 for one-day service in 1984, to substantiate the conclusion; however, the argument is flawed for a number of reasons, further discussed below.
The primary flaw of this argument is the incorrect use of an analogy to the color film processing industry, as the similarities between this industry and the frozen food processing industry is unclear besides the common use of the word "processing". It may be that the cost base for the frozen food processing industry is more prone to flux than the color film processing industry because of its dependence on the agricultural sector, which in turn is heavily dependent on weather conditions, and that as a result, minimizing costs in the frozen food processing industry is relatively unstable.
A secondary flaw of this argument is its vagueness as it relates to the apparent longevity of the Olympic Foods business. The author argues that as Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, its "long experience" can be expected to enable it to minimize costs and thus maximize profits. The questionable assumption underlying this statement is that 25 years of business is firstly "long experience", and secondly, enough reason for Olympic Foods to minimize costs and maximise profits. We cannot be sure that 25 years does in fact equate to long experience, as there may be other competitors in the same industry as Olympic Foods that have been operating for longer than 25 years. Furthermore, although we can generally assume that a business with longevity will be able to apply its experience to continue maximizing profits, this in itself is a positive factor that may help it in doing so, as opposed to the sole reason for it being able to do so.
Finally, the author has drawn too strong a conclusion on the weak evidence that has been given. The author can improve this argument by firstly, choosing a better suited analogy with which to compare its frozen food processing business (perhaps, an example from within the same industry), and secondly, qualify its conclusion by with specific examples as to how its apparent longevity will aid it in minimizing costs and maximizing profits.
I would be very grateful if you could please give me feedback on a practice AWA essay that I just completed today. As my exam is in a week's time, any help would be much appreciated!
Thanks in advance,
Olamide
________________
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
_____________________
The extract above has been taken from an annual report that was sent to stockholders of Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods, and thus its primary purpose is to inform such stockholders of, amongst other things, the financial health of the business. Understandably, part of this information should focus on the company's future plans with regards to its costs and/or overall profits, as this extract does.
The main conclusion of this argument is that Olympic Foods, by virtue of it celebrating its 25th birthday, can expect that its "long experience" will enable it to "minimize costs and thus maximize profits". The author proposes evidence from the color film processing industry, in which the cost of printing fell from $0.50 for five-day service in 1970 to $0.20 for one-day service in 1984, to substantiate the conclusion; however, the argument is flawed for a number of reasons, further discussed below.
The primary flaw of this argument is the incorrect use of an analogy to the color film processing industry, as the similarities between this industry and the frozen food processing industry is unclear besides the common use of the word "processing". It may be that the cost base for the frozen food processing industry is more prone to flux than the color film processing industry because of its dependence on the agricultural sector, which in turn is heavily dependent on weather conditions, and that as a result, minimizing costs in the frozen food processing industry is relatively unstable.
A secondary flaw of this argument is its vagueness as it relates to the apparent longevity of the Olympic Foods business. The author argues that as Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, its "long experience" can be expected to enable it to minimize costs and thus maximize profits. The questionable assumption underlying this statement is that 25 years of business is firstly "long experience", and secondly, enough reason for Olympic Foods to minimize costs and maximise profits. We cannot be sure that 25 years does in fact equate to long experience, as there may be other competitors in the same industry as Olympic Foods that have been operating for longer than 25 years. Furthermore, although we can generally assume that a business with longevity will be able to apply its experience to continue maximizing profits, this in itself is a positive factor that may help it in doing so, as opposed to the sole reason for it being able to do so.
Finally, the author has drawn too strong a conclusion on the weak evidence that has been given. The author can improve this argument by firstly, choosing a better suited analogy with which to compare its frozen food processing business (perhaps, an example from within the same industry), and secondly, qualify its conclusion by with specific examples as to how its apparent longevity will aid it in minimizing costs and maximizing profits.
