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Can someone please rate my essay and provide suggestions

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Can someone please rate my essay and provide suggestions

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Essay Question:
The following appeared in a market research report examining consumer perceptions of a chain of clothing stores:

"A recent survey commissioned by the market research department of XY Gen Stores indicated a high level of recognition among consumers of the brand and the nature of the apparel sold in XY Gen Stores. However, the survey also indicated that approximately 60% of those surveyed that recognized the name of XY Gen Stores had never shopped at one of the company's stores. Because of this result, XY Gen Stores executives should launch a significant rebranding and marketing campaign to change the company's image and thereby bring new consumers into the stores.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
Your Response:
The claim made by the market research department is that XY Gen stores should launch a marketing campaign to create awareness of company's stores and to change the its perception among people. The claim is made based on the research data that though there is significant brand awareness and nature of the apparel sold in XY Gen stores, higher percentage of the consumers who recognized the name never shopped at one of the company's stores. Although the argument presents some clarity in its reasoning, it is based on inadequate premises and unsupported assumptions, weakening its persuading power.

Firstly, the results of the studies stated in the argument are inadequate to support the conclusion as the results are ambiguous and have used indefinite words, which weren't explained lucidly. The survey states that consumers are acknowledged with the presence of the brand and about the quality of the apparel sold by the brand, but doesn't state whether consumer have a positive impression about the brand and its apparel. This detail plays a significant role in evaluating the conclusion as if the talk about the brand isn't favorable, there is no point in investment for advertising the brand, rather the company could invest in improving its product that could intern generate a positive talk about the product.

Secondly, the assumptions made in the argument are that if the consumers are informed about the company stores through advertising, they would visit the stores and as a result sales would increase ultimately benefiting the company. The argument doesn't state any facts to support its assumptions. For example, the price of the products in the store might be of premium range, which most consumers cannot afford or maybe the consumers assume that the price is more as it is a well-known brand. Further, maybe the locations of the stores are not reachable to the consumers.

Therefore if the author truly hopes to change his readers' minds on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidential support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned claim will likely not be beneficial to the company.


Please do mention the aspects in which improvement is required.
Thanks in advance!

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