Can anyone Please evaluate my writing ?

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Can anyone Please evaluate my writing ?

by farukqmul » Tue Apr 10, 2012 11:03 pm
In any field of endeavour, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

In data communication technology, many operators such as Orange, T-mobile -have upgraded to 3G technology because of its success in developed nation. The companies are actually inspired by the achievements of 3G technology. In Canada and US, 4G has introduced with greater advantages because of the success of the previous 3G technology. The argument provided here is still polemical, as some people believe that achievements do not influence in any field of endeavour as science has development without its achievement; But few other agree with the tenet that though it is possible to move on without past achievement but that movement is based on the past achievement. I found that past achievements are crucial for any field to proceed further as mentioned with 4G technology.

First, let's look at the condition of the cricket world. Cricket was only played in few countries-only 8 countries- in the world but watching its success and achievements there are now about 20 countries that are in influenced by its achievements. For example, USA and Canada has recently joined in ICC-International cricket board.' Why you have joined in Cricket?' when asked to a player of Canada, he replied-'I have seen people are getting familiarity by playing cricket and it has advanced far better than other sports because of its past achievements'. Clearly, the achievements of cricket have influenced those nations to start playing cricket.

Second,Robotics is a hot topic in many countries because of its past achievements. In Youtube or in daily newspaper there are tons of articles on robotics and its achievements, which encouraged many science students to take course on robotics. For example, Japanese robots are famous for their performance worldwide; those can even play football and violin. By watching the success of robotics many universities have opened department on robotics.

Finally, the technology has advanced because of its previous achievements. For instance, Android operating system in Smartphone is advancing because of its previous success. Now companies are developing newer version of operating system-Ice-cream -Sandwich for Smartphone.
To recapitulate, though science has developed in ancient cities without prior past achievements but the latest surge in technology has indicated that without past achievements such as 3G technology and robotics, it is not possible to advance in any field of endeavour.