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AWA - Argument

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by varundaga05 » Sun Jun 13, 2010 8:20 am
"Studies show that 11 out of every 1000 passengers who flew Arial Airways last years filed complaints regarding quality of food served on the flights. But since these comprise just a little over one per cent of the passengers, we can assume that the remaining ninety nine per cent were satisfied with Arial's services. It is, therefore, not important to scrutinize the complaints filed and act upon them."


The argument that since the complaints comprise just a little over one percent of the passengers , we can assume other passengers are happy and therefore no need to act upon the compaints, might be weaken because of various reasons.Three reasons that comes to the mind are as follows



Reason one that the argument can be weaken is that it assumes that those passengers who do not file complaints are satisfied customers. There can be various reasons why a customer might not file a complaint. Customer might not be aware where to file a compalint, he or she might not want to take the effort to file a complaint, may ignore the bad quailty as he or she does not fly frequently and so do not want to take the effort to file a complaint. One way to strengthn the argument is to ensure that customers can easily file a complaint and are comfortable in filing a complaint and the number of complaint filed actually represent the disgruntled customers.



Another reason for which the argument is weaken is that the quailty of food may have just started deterioating and if the company does not scrutinize the compalints then it might allow a problem to grow and later on many more customers might complain and then it would do more harm to the company and its reputation. To strenghten the argument it is important to ensure that the complaints are scrutinized and find out if there is a problem or it is just few exception cases.



Final reason for which the argument is weaken is that if the complaints are not acted upon then it gives a wrong signal to the employees , food supply vendor and the customers . To employees it signifies that the management is not concerned about the quailty of the food serverd and so quailty is not one of the top priorities of the company. The food supply vendor might provide similar low quailty food or even worse food as it will get a signal that the company is not bothered about quality. The customers who had complained will get the feeling that the company does not care about there compalint. The arugment can be strengthen by appropriate action taken. This will give out the right signals to everyone concered that for the company quailty is one of the top priorities.



So the above argument suffers from various flaws and as discussed if we provide the necessary information it would make the argument logically sound and would help to better evaluate its conclusion
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by grockit_andrea » Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:50 am
Your essay is too focused on the issue; even though you phrase your ideas in terms of the argument, you're still addressing the content of the argument, not its structure. Reframe your analysis; for example, the conclusion to your third body paragraph is "The arugment can be strengthen by appropriate action taken. This will give out the right signals to everyone concered that for the company quailty is one of the top priorities." That doesn't focus on the argument; it focuses on the airline's plan, and just backs up your contention that the plan isn't a good one. You do the same thing at other points in the essay. For example, the last sentence of the second body paragraph: "To strenghten the argument it is important to ensure that the complaints are scrutinized and find out if there is a problem or it is just few exception cases. " As written, it again focuses on the plan, not on the argument.
I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to improve this with small changes; I think your entire approach to the argument needs to be overhauled. I'd suggest spending some time reading high-scoring AWA Argument essays to get a better understanding of the kind of argument critique they're looking for. Good luck!
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