Hi All ,
Could someone please review my essay and comment on flaws and areas I can improve upon. I see a huge number of posts asking for essay evaluation. Greatly appreciated if someone can spend time to read mine and rate it.
Thanks
Mazerath
The recent surge in violence in the southern part of the city is a result of a shortage of police officers and an absence of leadership on the part of the city council. In order to rectify the burgeoning growth of crime that threatens the community, the city council must address this issue seriously. Instead of spending time on peripheral issues such as education quality, community vitality, and job opportunity, the city council must realize that the crime issue is serious and double the police force, even if this action requires budget cuts from other city programs.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
The argument states that an increase in police force is required to curtail the burgeoning violence in the city. It also criticizes the city council for not taking sufficient steps to address this issue. However the argument contains many glaring logical gaps does not provide any evidence to support the argument and ignores other possible ways of addressing the issues. Therefore the argument is severely flawed.
Violence rates increase due to a myriad of reasons. While police force is necessary, it is indeed a very short term solution. There have been a great amount of research done in developed and developing countries. And in almost all the cases, it has been proven that the literacy, community well-being and economic status play a huge role in building peaceful communities. The city council is investing in such areas and while the results of these investments might not be immediately visible, they could well be a wonderful long term solution. The argument does not sufficiently analyze if such investments can have an indirect effect of reducing violence.
While the shortage of police force can be an issue in reducing violence, it most certainly cannot be the cause for the surge. It is possible that the lack of police force reduce their effectiveness in dealing with violence, the causation that it is the only cause for the surge in violence is ridiculous. Their effectiveness when crime rates were less would go a long way in determining the need for an increase in police force.
Information on the correlation between the size of the police force and its effectiveness will provide us with a clear understanding on the seriousness of this issue. Additional information on budgets being redirected from security to other areas will help validate the claims made by the author.
In conclusion, the argument lacks evidence to support the conclusion put forward. Research and information on the root cause for such violence, whether those root causes can be addressed using investments in education and community welfare and suitability of short term solutions over long-term solutions for this situation will help provide a stronger well-reasoned argument.
Could someone please review my essay and comment on flaws and areas I can improve upon. I see a huge number of posts asking for essay evaluation. Greatly appreciated if someone can spend time to read mine and rate it.
Thanks
Mazerath
The recent surge in violence in the southern part of the city is a result of a shortage of police officers and an absence of leadership on the part of the city council. In order to rectify the burgeoning growth of crime that threatens the community, the city council must address this issue seriously. Instead of spending time on peripheral issues such as education quality, community vitality, and job opportunity, the city council must realize that the crime issue is serious and double the police force, even if this action requires budget cuts from other city programs.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
The argument states that an increase in police force is required to curtail the burgeoning violence in the city. It also criticizes the city council for not taking sufficient steps to address this issue. However the argument contains many glaring logical gaps does not provide any evidence to support the argument and ignores other possible ways of addressing the issues. Therefore the argument is severely flawed.
Violence rates increase due to a myriad of reasons. While police force is necessary, it is indeed a very short term solution. There have been a great amount of research done in developed and developing countries. And in almost all the cases, it has been proven that the literacy, community well-being and economic status play a huge role in building peaceful communities. The city council is investing in such areas and while the results of these investments might not be immediately visible, they could well be a wonderful long term solution. The argument does not sufficiently analyze if such investments can have an indirect effect of reducing violence.
While the shortage of police force can be an issue in reducing violence, it most certainly cannot be the cause for the surge. It is possible that the lack of police force reduce their effectiveness in dealing with violence, the causation that it is the only cause for the surge in violence is ridiculous. Their effectiveness when crime rates were less would go a long way in determining the need for an increase in police force.
Information on the correlation between the size of the police force and its effectiveness will provide us with a clear understanding on the seriousness of this issue. Additional information on budgets being redirected from security to other areas will help validate the claims made by the author.
In conclusion, the argument lacks evidence to support the conclusion put forward. Research and information on the root cause for such violence, whether those root causes can be addressed using investments in education and community welfare and suitability of short term solutions over long-term solutions for this situation will help provide a stronger well-reasoned argument.
