Application essay content-too personal?

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sme0928: Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts; Posts: 39; Joined: Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:20 pm

by sme0928 » Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:18 am

Hi there,
I am starting on my applicatin essays (USC, UC Irvine, Loyola Marymount, and Pepperdine-all part time) and I was curious if it is approprate to include certain aspects of my life in the essay(s). For example, recently in the span of a couple years my mother passed away and I went through a divorce. I was hoping to try and tie this into the "goals" essay and maybe touch upon these factors as being the catalyst to evaluate my life/career and wanting to pursue an MBA. Do you advise that I touch on this, or is this 'too personal"? I think this would make a good emotional connection with the admission staff, but dont want to cross any lines

Thanks

-Steve

Source: Beat The GMAT — Ask Stacy Blackman | Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:18 am

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Lisa Anderson: MBA Admissions Consultant; Posts: 3845; Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:57 pmFollowed by: 148 members; Location: Houston, TX; Thanked: 442 times

by Lisa Anderson » Sat Jan 16, 2010 9:15 am

Dear Steve,

There is definitely a fine line in writing essays with regards to providing personal information; I tend to lean on the conservative side of not offering many personal details unless you are writing an essay on a personal experience. Thus if you are writing an essay about a personal experience or personal information is key to the story you are conveying in an essay, be sure you are only including relevant details. You do not want to work in personal details just to have them in the essay because you think they might garner favor or compassion (not that I think that is what you are doing). So, read through your essay and just make sure that it is important to the essay that you include this information--edit as necessary only sticking to what is important. For instance, you might only need to say "After going through a tough divorce," rather than "After fighting with my horrible ex-wife for nine months over every book and trinket in the house." Not that I'm trying to diminish your experience, but it is important that you be thoughtful in what you share in your essays. Hope that helps.

Good luck,
Lisa

Lisa Anderson
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Stacy Blackman Consulting

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sme0928: Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts; Posts: 39; Joined: Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:20 pm

by sme0928 » Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:46 pm

Hi Lisa,
Thanlk you very much for your response. I agree, i would not go into much detail at all on these events. The USC question specifcally asks why now is the right time? While the events I mentioned are not the reason why I want to pursue an MBA, they were the catalyst that made me evaluate my life/career . I then moved to LA and started working for Disney as a Sr analyst. I will then talk about my career experiences /goals and what I want to do with an MBA, etc. I hope that makes sense. Does that seem like a fair route to take in the essay?

Thanks,

-Steve

GMAT/MBA Expert

Lisa Anderson: MBA Admissions Consultant; Posts: 3845; Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:57 pmFollowed by: 148 members; Location: Houston, TX; Thanked: 442 times

by Lisa Anderson » Mon Jan 18, 2010 2:45 pm

It seems fair, but you won't really know until you have it written and can read the essay. Once you have all your thoughts down, then you will have an idea of what makes sense to keep, what makes sense to cut, and what makes sense to expand on. So, write the draft and see what you think about it. It sounds like you have it well-crafted in your mind and that is always the first step to a strong essay.

Good luck,
Lisa

Lisa Anderson
Consultant
Stacy Blackman Consulting

Learn more about me

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