What does this rate?..be ruthless!

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How does this essay rate?

6
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5
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4
2
50%
3
2
50%
2
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1
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Total votes: 4

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What does this rate?..be ruthless!

by ken3233 » Sat May 23, 2009 2:28 am
(This is my second attempt at GMAT essay writing...rip it up, don't worry about salving my ego. I'm hoping this at least rates a "5". If not, why? Thanks.)

"The presence of a competitor is always beneficial to a company. Competition forces a company to change itself in ways that improve its practices."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


The argument that the presence of a competitor is always beneficial to a company has strengths and weaknesses. Ultimately, the impact of a competitor's presence on a company varies from case to case, sometimes in ways that validate this argument, other times in ways that refute it.

Clearly, competition between companies in the marketplace is the grist that generates economic tension which, in the long run, enable companies to understand what is and is not working regarding their organization, strategy, and performance. The presence of several competitors in a single market means that consumers have choices concerning which services and goods to purchase or reject. In this respect, competition means that companies can intricately assess and analyze the value of their own products relative to those of competitors. Valuable also is that this observation of consumer reactions enables companies to experiment with different market, production, and organizational strategies in order to dispose of failing business approaches while simultaneously discovering which practices are valuable and successful. Without the presence of a competitor in the marketplace, a company might grow complacent about its business practices, which could lead to stagnation and the crystalization of many inefficient business customs. Such a company, ultimately, would survive only as long as consumers have no choice except to purchase the company's goods and services, and it would collapse at that future time when the appearance of the more dynamic competitor presents consumers with a preferable choice.

On the other hand, the argument can be faulted for overlooking that the ultimate goal in competition is to win, and in the consumer marketplace, winning is sometimes characterized by total market dominance. A company that has absorbed its competitors or driven them out of business is often a dyanamic, highly efficient organization that is succeeding because it is delivering products to consumers which are clearly superior to all other available brands. Such companies, upon achieving market dominance, are not necessarily fated to succumb to complacence and slow but inevitable deterioration in the merits of their goods and services. Quite the contrary: a company which emerges as the sole operator in a marketplace through successfully competing with rivals may have a superb organizational culture which ensures that it will continue to improve its products and adapt to fluctuations in consumers needs and preferences over time.

Overall, then, the presence of a competitor may or may not be beneficial to a company, depending on the overall market situation and the broader, deeper economic realities in which the market is functioning.

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by Jose Ferreira » Mon May 25, 2009 10:24 am
Thanks for sharing this essay.

I believe this essay would earn a 9, meaning that one reader would score it a 4, while another would give it a 5.

While it is extremely well-written, the essay probably comes up a bit short of a 10 because you don't take a strong enough stance. Pick a side of the argument and run with it -- don't pay deference to the other side.

Accordingly, your conclusion shouldn't feature a phrase like "may or may not;" instead the reader should have an extremely clear understanding of where you stand on the issue.

Your ability to write persuasively is one of the most important criterion of the GMAT essay w/r/t earning a score of 10+.

Thanks again for sharing,

Jose
Jose Ferreira
Founder and CEO, Knewton, Inc.
https://www.knewton.com/gmat

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by ken3233 » Mon May 25, 2009 11:18 am
Much appreciated.

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by rahulsaroha » Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:24 pm
it's clearly above 5 in content...
buy it would have been 6 if u had choosen a side clearly...
rahul

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by destination750plus » Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:47 pm
I think this essay should receive a score of 5.
The suggestion given by Jose is really helpful.
The more pursuasive we are in our essays the better
is the chance of scoring a perfect score.