This sentence is acceptable in spoken English, but it would be incorrect on the GMAT.
The reason:
it lacks a clear referent.
On the GMAT, it will ALWAYS have a crystal clear referent.
"It" doesn't require a referent if "it" is used as the subject of an impersonal verb. In fact, by definition, we're stuck without a referent in such cases. (For those interested in the rule, check out:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/it or
https://www.englishgrammar.org/impersonal-pronoun/)
This is as true in formal writing as it would be if you saw it on the GMAT. And though this construction doesn't show up often, it isn't unprecedented.
See here:
It was only after Katharine Graham became publisher of The Washington Post in 1963 that it moved into the first rank of American newspapers, and it was under her command that the paper won high praise for its unrelenting reporting of the Watergate scandal.
(A) It was only after Katharine Graham became publisher of The Washington Post in 1963 that it moved into the first rank of American newspapers, and it was under her command that the paper won high praise
(B) It was only after Katharine Graham's becoming publisher of The Washington Post in 1963 that it moved into the first rank of American newspapers, and under her command it had won high praise
(C) Katharine Graham became publisher of The Washington Post in 1963, and only after that did it move into the first rank of American newspapers, having won high praise under her command
(D) Moving into the first rank of American newspapers only after Katharine Graham became its publisher in 1963, The Washington Post, winning high praise under her command
(E) Moving into the first rank of American newspapers only after Katharine Graham's becoming its publisher in 1963, The Washington Post won high praise under her command
Usually, if the impersonal "it" shows up, it does so in the portion of the sentence that isn't underlined, so we don't have to worry about it.
A few more examples:
It is unclear whether chimpanzees are unique among nonhuman species in their ability to learn behaviors from one another, or
if, when other animals are studied in as much depth, similar patterns would be found.
(A) if, when other animals are studied in as much depth, similar patterns would be found
(B) if other animals were studied with as much depth they would exhibit similar patterns
(C) would similar patterns be found in other animals if they were studied in as much depth
(D) whether similar patterns would be exhibited in other animals that were studied with as much depth
(E) whether other animals would exhibit similar patterns if they were studied in as much depth
It is possible that, like the Volkswagen, whose unchanging exterior over decades concealed many changes in its internal machinery,
the evolution of many prehistoric microbes occurred with no significant modification to their sheaths.
(A) the evolution of many prehistoric microbes occurred with no significant modification to their sheaths
(B) the evolution of many prehistoric microbes was occurring without significant modification of their sheaths
(C) no significant modification was made to the sheaths of many prehistoric microbes as they were evolving
(D) the sheaths of many prehistoric microbes went without significant modification during their evolution
(E) many prehistoric microbes evolved without significant modification of their sheaths
Of course, if you were to abide by a strict policy of never choosing an answer choice that didn't have a clear referent for "it," the above scenarios are rare enough that you'd be fine on the GMAT, but the rules regarding "it" are a bit more subtle than we sometimes teach them.
