Essay 1, Analyse

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Essay 1, Analyse

by robin.123 » Wed Mar 09, 2011 2:51 am
Can anyone rate my essay & correct it?
What are the mistakes?
& suggestion to improve my essay!

Q- In some countries, television and radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language and behavior. In other countries, there is little or no censorship

Ans
This is a Media world, where people come to know things from television or radio rather than any other source of information. So it is a very important and sensitive aspect of our society.
Now days most of the youth get inspire by watching movies on television & listening new things on radio because they follow their celebrity styles. Some directors or producers of movie makers are only concerned about profits. They don't bother for delivering wrong messages to the society.
In some countries, television & radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language & behavior. The limits for censoring offensive language & behavior have been decided by some government authorities on the bases of their country's culture.
Such as India, where to censor a program is a very sensitive area. A program Big Boss in India had come in news for showing offensive language & behavior without censored. So government banded that program. The program Big Boss started again after cutting the offensive clips in that serial.
In my opinion programs on television & on radio has been censored on the basis of respect country's culture. Because every country has its own censor limits.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by VivianKerr » Fri Mar 11, 2011 10:26 am
Hi Robin,

I suggest you aim for a longer length and read some sample essays to get a feel for how they develop their argument. Your actual Issue essay will likely need to be 3-4 times longer than what you have here.

The AWA essays should be about 5 paragraphs total, with a short intro/conclusion and 3 clear body paragraphs, each using a different example to support your thesis (strong, declarative statement at the end of your intro paragraph).

Check out these links if you haven't already. I think they'll help your preparation. The key is to practice, practice, practice and have native English speakers give you feedback. You may also want to consider finding an English-writing course either online or in person to help you develop your English writing skills. A good English grammar book at your side wih help with SC improvement too! Good luck!

Official Info (download official essay prompts): https://www.mba.com/mba/thegmat/teststru ... ntsection/

Basic tips: https://www.beatthegmat.com/mba/2010/09/ ... assessment

Template & Sample essays: https://www.platinumgmat.com/about_gmat/ ... y_template

Interesting template/discussion: https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6- ... 64327.html

There's also an incredible amount of helpful info here: https://www.beatthegmat.com/mba/category/gmat-awa-essays
Vivian Kerr
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by arora007 » Sat Mar 12, 2011 12:20 pm
thats neat!
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