• Varsity Tutors
    Award-winning private GMAT tutoring
    Register now and save up to $200

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Varsity Tutors
  • Magoosh
    Magoosh
    Study with Magoosh GMAT prep

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Magoosh
  • Target Test Prep
    5-Day Free Trial
    5-day free, full-access trial TTP Quant

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Target Test Prep
  • Veritas Prep
    Free Veritas GMAT Class
    Experience Lesson 1 Live Free

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Veritas Prep
  • The Princeton Review
    FREE GMAT Exam
    Know how you'd score today for $0

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    The Princeton Review
  • e-gmat Exclusive Offer
    Get 300+ Practice Questions
    25 Video lessons and 6 Webinars for FREE

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    e-gmat Exclusive Offer
  • Kaplan Test Prep
    Free Practice Test & Review
    How would you score if you took the GMAT

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Kaplan Test Prep
  • Economist Test Prep
    Free Trial & Practice Exam
    BEAT THE GMAT EXCLUSIVE

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Economist Test Prep
  • EMPOWERgmat Slider
    1 Hour Free
    BEAT THE GMAT EXCLUSIVE

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    EMPOWERgmat Slider
  • PrepScholar GMAT
    5 Day FREE Trial
    Study Smarter, Not Harder

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    PrepScholar GMAT

Rate my AWA Essay Please and give me pinters on how i can im

This topic has 1 member reply
asamanta Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts Default Avatar
Joined
27 May 2008
Posted:
55 messages
Upvotes:
1

Rate my AWA Essay Please and give me pinters on how i can im

Post Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:33 am
Football enthusiasts insist that their sport, more than any other, epitomizes the character of the American people. They say that its rough and tumble style and aggressive play on large fields are reminiscent of the pioneer era of America's history. Other people say that no sporting contest, which is confined to a particular time and played by a strict set of rules, can truly epitomize a nations character.

Which position do you find more compelling? Explain your position using reasons and/or examples drawn from your personal experience, observations or readings.



11:57 - 12:27

Football enthusiasts insist that football, more than other sport, epitomizes the character of the American people. I do not find this to be true at all. To generalize a nations character to a game of football is to over generalize American people's character. I would like to support my position by firstly stating the bias in such a statement and then talking about character traits of an individual's character.

Firstly I would like to state that football enthusiasts do not represent a major proportion of the population and although they might think of football as the epitome of American people's character, it is probably only true for extreamly small proportion of the nation's population. I find the game of football very aggressive at all times. However the USA has not been overly aggressive at all times. The aggression in Americans, if it exists, is minimal and only present in situations when required. The rough and rumble, that these enthusiasts say represent the pioneer era, could be compared to the pioneer era but what does the rest of the game represent?

Secondly I would like to talk about character traits of individuals. I think every individual is very different from another. It is virtually impossible to generalize a nations character based on American people's character. Firstly, the character of a person is far beyond a strict set of rules and not confined to a stipulated period of time, as a game of football is. Secondly the character of a person takes a lifetime to develop. Hence the character of America can not be generalized on the basis of what American football enthusiasts think.

In conclusion I would like to restate that football enthusiast's claim that football represents the character of the American people is firstly biased, and secondly over generalized, as a nations character can not be based on a small group of the population.

  • +1 Upvote Post
  • Quote
  • Flag
VP_Jim GMAT Instructor Default Avatar
Joined
01 May 2008
Posted:
1223 messages
Followed by:
13 members
Upvotes:
185
Post Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:42 pm
Try to avoid using the word "I" in your essays - it is generally not good style. It takes a bit of creativity to find other ways to say things, but your writing will look a lot better.

Next, make sure you back up your points with specific examples. Rather than saying that "football is aggressive", say that "in a recent game between the Oakland Raiders and San Diego Chargers, Kirk Morrison, a Raiders linebacker, purposefully stepped on San Diego's quarterback's knee" or something like that. This will REALLY strengthen your argument.

I'd give this one a 3.

_________________
Jim S. | GMAT Instructor | Veritas Prep

  • +1 Upvote Post
  • Quote
  • Flag

Top First Responders*

1 GMATGuruNY 71 first replies
2 Rich.C@EMPOWERgma... 48 first replies
3 Brent@GMATPrepNow 37 first replies
4 Jay@ManhattanReview 26 first replies
5 ErikaPrepScholar 10 first replies
* Only counts replies to topics started in last 30 days
See More Top Beat The GMAT Members

Most Active Experts

1 image description GMATGuruNY

The Princeton Review Teacher

129 posts
2 image description Rich.C@EMPOWERgma...

EMPOWERgmat

116 posts
3 image description Jeff@TargetTestPrep

Target Test Prep

106 posts
4 image description Max@Math Revolution

Math Revolution

92 posts
5 image description Scott@TargetTestPrep

Target Test Prep

92 posts
See More Top Beat The GMAT Experts