Hello Friends,
Will be taking up GMAT pretty soon. Please rate the essay so that I can take some actions to improve
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The following appeared in the health section of a magazine on trends and lifestyles:
“People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a
craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument that artificial sweetener aspartame are unlike to achieve the dietary goal is not convincing for several reasons. First and the foremost reason is lack of clear definition of dietary goals which people want to achieve and what are the claims made by sellers of artificial sweeteners or perceived benefits of artificial sweeteners over natural sweeteners like sugar.
So, we assume that the dietary goal of people is to reduce calorie intake from sugar and sellers of artificial sweetener aspartame claims to help people achieve that goal.
The actual amount of calories which can be avoided by a person who uses aspartame instead of sugar is not specified in the passage. This data is required to quantify the reduction of calorie intake by a person.
The passage suggests that high level of aspartame have been shown to trigger a carving for food. However, it does not conclude whether those studies are scientifically proven and accepted as a fact by scientific community. Whether aspartame is the only reason to trigger the carving for food is not conclusively mentioned in the passage either.
The passage suggests high level of aspartame have been shown to trigger the carving of food, but the passage does not mention those levels. Hence it cannot be ascertained whether anybody will consume that high level of aspartame in routine.
The passage is actually trying to convince readers that sugar contrarily to popular belief is helpful in enhancing the ability of body to burn fat. However as per the passage this happens only if a person is engaged in the exercise continuously for at least 45 minutes. Hence the passage assumes that a large number of people who consume aspartame exercise for 45 minutes continuously. The passage fails to address the effects of sugar consumption if a person does not exercise for 45 minutes continuously.
Hence a reader of this passage who is not doing exercise for at least 45 minutes continuously or is not eating aspartame in large quantity might continue to consume aspartame.
In order to draw any convincing conclusion form the passage, the passage must highlight scientifically proven benefits of sugar in the short and long term. The side effects by consumption of aspartame must be scientifically validated and quantified so as to draw any logical conclusion.
Will be taking up GMAT pretty soon. Please rate the essay so that I can take some actions to improve
------
The following appeared in the health section of a magazine on trends and lifestyles:
“People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a
craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument that artificial sweetener aspartame are unlike to achieve the dietary goal is not convincing for several reasons. First and the foremost reason is lack of clear definition of dietary goals which people want to achieve and what are the claims made by sellers of artificial sweeteners or perceived benefits of artificial sweeteners over natural sweeteners like sugar.
So, we assume that the dietary goal of people is to reduce calorie intake from sugar and sellers of artificial sweetener aspartame claims to help people achieve that goal.
The actual amount of calories which can be avoided by a person who uses aspartame instead of sugar is not specified in the passage. This data is required to quantify the reduction of calorie intake by a person.
The passage suggests that high level of aspartame have been shown to trigger a carving for food. However, it does not conclude whether those studies are scientifically proven and accepted as a fact by scientific community. Whether aspartame is the only reason to trigger the carving for food is not conclusively mentioned in the passage either.
The passage suggests high level of aspartame have been shown to trigger the carving of food, but the passage does not mention those levels. Hence it cannot be ascertained whether anybody will consume that high level of aspartame in routine.
The passage is actually trying to convince readers that sugar contrarily to popular belief is helpful in enhancing the ability of body to burn fat. However as per the passage this happens only if a person is engaged in the exercise continuously for at least 45 minutes. Hence the passage assumes that a large number of people who consume aspartame exercise for 45 minutes continuously. The passage fails to address the effects of sugar consumption if a person does not exercise for 45 minutes continuously.
Hence a reader of this passage who is not doing exercise for at least 45 minutes continuously or is not eating aspartame in large quantity might continue to consume aspartame.
In order to draw any convincing conclusion form the passage, the passage must highlight scientifically proven benefits of sugar in the short and long term. The side effects by consumption of aspartame must be scientifically validated and quantified so as to draw any logical conclusion.
