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POLL --> Argument - Adam and Zubelon

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netigen Legendary Member Default Avatar
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POLL --> Argument - Adam and Zubelon

Post Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:52 pm
The following appeared as a part of an advertisement for Adams, who is seeking reelection as governor.

"Re-elect Adams, and you will be voting for proven leadership in improving the state's economy. Over the past year alone, seventy percent of the state's workers have had increases in their wages, five thousand new jobs have been created, and six corporations have located their headquarters here. Most of the respondents in a recent poll said they believed that the economy is likely to continue to improve if Adams is reelected. Adams's opponent, Zebulon, would lead our state in the wrong direction, because Zebulon disagrees with many of Adams's economic policies."

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Although this argument may be logically sound, it fails to provide real context or strong examples in order to substantiate the conclusion that Adam is a better candidate than Zebulon. It provides no information on the state of economy over the entire course of Adam's appointment as governor. It also fails to account for other factors that may have influenced the economy. Also, it assumes that the poll was conducted on a representative set of the state's electorate. However, there are many other factors that contribute to a weak conclusion and flawed argument.

Most of all, the argument tries to portray that Adam has been responsible over the last year for achievements such as increased worker's pay, five thousand new jobs, and six corporation locating their headquarters in the state. The argument fails to provide any conclusive correlation between Adam's economic policies and such events. It could be that workers pay only increased by one percent which is the usual trend in the industry or that twenty thousand jobs were lost and only five thousand new jobs were created. Even the statistical data on six corporation moving their headquarters to state isn't that convincing because six is a small figure at state level. Argument will be strengthened if it provides examples and context that explains the correlation between the state's achievements and Adam's economic policies.

In addition, the argument also fails to clarify that the poll was conducted on a representative set of the state's electorate. What were the questions in the poll and who responded to the poll. It could be that the poll was misrepresented or the respondents were largely supporters of Adam. It may well be that the questions asked were biased and hence the poll results do not represent the true picture. The argument will be stronger if it provides information on the set of the electorate that was polled, provides details on the questions that were part of the poll and also provides details on the respondents. This information will help substantiate the poll results and provide the needed support to the argument.

Furthermore, the argument assumes that Adam's economic policies are sound and states that Zebulon disagrees with these policies hence he will take the state in the wrong direction. First of all, the argument has failed to convince that Adam's policies are sound and successful. Secondly, it fails to provide any details on Zebulon policies. May be Zebulon's economic policies are even better that Adam's or may be they are worst, this aspect on the competing policies is not clear from the argument. Argument will stand better ground if it provide some strong examples to compare the economic policies of Adam and Zubelon.

In sum, argument fails to convince that Adam is a better candidate than Zubelon. Argument will be strengthened if it provides information that correlates Adam's policies and achievements of the state during his appointment as governor. It will be further strengthened if it also provides data to validate the poll results for correct representation, proper response and unbiased questions. Additionally, information that compares Zubelon and Adam's economic policies and highlights the benefits will close further flaws in the argument.

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dbaGMAT123 Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts Default Avatar
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Post Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:55 pm
I found the following GMAT AWA Template, used it, and got a 6. Can't promise it will work for you, but it was magic for me.

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netigen Legendary Member Default Avatar
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Post Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:59 am
Used this exact same template in the GMAT and scored a 6

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VP_Jim GMAT Instructor Default Avatar
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Post Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:48 am
Hi netigen,

Good job on the format and point out the assumptions that the author has made! Try to make a little more time at the end to proofread your essay for grammatical and spelling mistakes, but overall, this is a great essay!

I'd give this a 5 or a 6.

_________________
Jim S. | GMAT Instructor | Veritas Prep

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