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Please review my essay. Thanks!!

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by mg123 » Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:58 am
Seniority (years of service) should not be the basis of employee compensation. Employees should be promoted and given raises solely on the basis of their work performance and merit. That is a better way to encourage high productivity.

Discuss the extent to which...

My response:

The question whether to compensate workers according to their work performance and merit rather then their seniority has some argument supporting each side. In this essay I will argue in favor of compensating an employee solely on the basis of his work performance and merit.

First, when the management promotes workers according to their productivity, it send a clear message to all the employees that one's way to be promoted in the company is for him to be productive and to do well in all of his assignments. This will encourage greater productivity among the workers who will see that their their hard work carries fruit. Moreover, this kind of compensation should not heart the senior workers as they should have an easier way of achieving better accomplishments since they have more experience.

Second, it is only logical that a raise would be given to a worker whose work contributed to the company's performance. When the work done by an employee brings to greater earnings to the company it makes sense to share some of those earnings with him.

Third, the alternative, which some may propose, to compensate workers based on their seniority, has some pretty serious downsides. For example, a worker that has been working in the organization for a long period of time, could stop caring about his performance and not work hard, as his salary raise is due anyhow, solely because he has been around long enough. Furthermore, promoting such a worker, who had stopped working hard or simply is not as skilled as other less senior employees, would cause a situation where the company has less skilled workers in crutial junctions along the organization's hierarchy tree.

In conclusion, there are more arguments in favor of the argument shown above than there are against it, therefore it would make a better choice for companies facing such a dilemma.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by VP_Jim » Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:10 am
Your writing is good and you make some good points, but make sure you back up those points with specific, real world examples. Good examples include things such as countries, people, works of literature, events in history, etc. Avoid general or hypothetical examples.

I'll give you a 4.
Jim S. | GMAT Instructor | Veritas Prep
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