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Please review my essay - Analysis of an Argument

Expert replies

How would you rate my essay?

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Total votes: 3

by gabi_schneider » Fri Aug 26, 2011 1:47 am
Helly everybody,

I wrote an analysis of an argument based on myohmy's essay template (https://www.beatthegmat.com/argument-ess ... 38032.html).

However, I have got several difficulties with it as I don't know, how long an essay has to be and how much you have adapt the template to the presented argument.

I would be very grateful to hear your opinions on this essay!

Thank you very much!

TOPIC: "In the preceding statement, the author claims that The Mercury should reduce its price below that of the competing lower-priced newspaper The Bugle in order to increase circulation. The author observed that The Mercury lost 10,000 readers since The Bugle was started. Though this claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on several questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers, we cannot accept his argument as valid."

ESSAY: The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies in his unsubstantiated premises. First, the author assumes that there is a relation between the start of the low-priced newspaper The Bugle and the decrease in circulation of The Mercury. This claim pretty much lacks evidentiary support as the author fails to prove whether the decline of readers is the result of its competitor's price or of other factors. For instance, due to the advent of the internet one can observe a change in media usage. In the last years the internet usage has grown significantly while circulation of print media has experienced a strong decline. People start to read news online instead of buying magazines and newspapers. Therefore one cannot assume that The Bugle is responsible for the Mercury's decreased circulation without making any further investigations. The author's premise the basis for his argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.

In addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. Assuming that the price is the critical factor of success for The Mercury without proving this by any statistics strongly weakens the argument. The author fails to prove the evidence that reduction of the price will lead to an increase in circulation. In fact, one could also assume that people buy a magazine because of its quality of content and its well-researched articles. Price would lose its importance and a reduction of the former will not lead to an increase in readers. Moreover, the author assumes that increased circulation will attract more advertising customers. However, this remains unproven as advertisers could also be more attracted to other media for several other reasons. It could be the case that the readership of The Mercury is not the target group of the advertising businesses.

While the author does have several key issues in his argument's premises and assumptions that is not to say that the entire argument is without base. To strengthen it the author must present the reasons why The Mercury lost 10,000 readers and show, how the magazine's strategy will succeed in gaining these back. First, the reader has to show the relation between The Mercury and The Bugle by presenting for example circulation figures. Second, he could also show statistics or surveys what makes readers buy a newspaper and then formulate his advices based on these findings.

In the sum, the author's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. If the author hopes to change his reader's mind on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by Brent@GMATPrepNow » Wed Aug 31, 2011 12:36 pm
Hi Gabi,

Great essay. I vacillated between giving you a 5 or a 6 (I would have chosen 5.5 if it were available).
The points are strong, the writing is solid and the template is perfect.

Cheers,
Brent
Brent Hanneson - Creator of GMATPrepNow.com
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by Brent@GMATPrepNow » Wed Aug 31, 2011 12:37 pm
PS: I like it when students add a poll to their posts :-)

Cheers,
Brent
Brent Hanneson - Creator of GMATPrepNow.com
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by gabi_schneider » Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:52 am
Thanks a lot! I have my GMAT in one week, so I am relieved now, that at least I don't have to spend more time on the AWA part :)
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