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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |
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by donnaprimadonna » Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:12 am
I think your essay has a good structure and logical statements but there was a part of sentence at the end "current economic needs." that was unnecessary in the essay. And I was a little bit confused by this part "Because the argument leaves out critical data needed to help corporations make sound..." I think you need to re-write it to make it sound more natural.
Great job otherwise!
A creative manager at rewrite example.
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