Please Rate my argument essay

This topic has expert replies
Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:02 pm

Please Rate my argument essay

by deepak1485 » Sat Jun 19, 2010 8:21 am
Return to Review Options

deepak A CAT Exam #5 6/19/2010

AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a market research report examining consumer perceptions of a chain of clothing stores:

"A recent survey commissioned by the market research department of XY Gen Stores indicated a high level of recognition among consumers of the brand and the nature of the apparel sold in XY Gen Stores. However, the survey also indicated that approximately 60% of those surveyed that recognized the name of XY Gen Stores had never shopped at one of the company's stores. Because of this result, XY Gen Stores executives should launch a significant rebranding and marketing campaign to change the company's image and thereby bring new consumers into the stores.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The author argues that XY general store should embark on a rebranding and marketing campain to bring new customers . The evidence offered by the author is the survey conducted by market research department of the same store which indicates that though there is high level of recognition for the brands and apparel sold in the store ,many of them have not made a purchase in the store.This argument is flawed as author succumbs to sampling and reasoning flaws .


First , The argument cites the survey as evidence but does not provide any details regarding how was it conducted ,what was the sample size ,who was the target audience . Without such details it is very difficult to evaluate the accuracy of the survey . For example if the survey was conducted among a limited audience then these results would not indicate that customers in general also follow the trend seen in the survey.

Second, The survey does not give reasons why the 60% of the survey sample did not make a purchase .There may be various reasons such as discounts at other stores ,Non availability of XY stores at convenient locations etc.,If any of these is the problem then any amount of marketing and branding will not bring new customers.

Moreover , this argument can be strengthened by including data to show that the sample size was large enough to represent the entire population in the area where this survey was conducted and probing the real reason why customers are staying away from the store is lack of recognition for XY stores.

In conclusion , the author succumbs to sampling and logical flaws rendering the above argument flawed . This argument can be strengthened by including specific details about the survey and reasons why the customers are staying away from the store .
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

GMAT Instructor
Posts: 357
Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:31 pm
Thanked: 128 times
Followed by:7 members

by grockit_andrea » Sun Jun 20, 2010 2:14 pm
I really like the clear structure and the transitions in this argument. I also like your tone; you firmly point out some flaws in the author's reasoning and show how those flaws could be corrected, but you don't sound harsh or overly critical. That's a great balance to strike, so well done on that. There's a way to improve this essay, though. Your third body paragraph doesn't seem to introduce any new information, and it's only one sentence long. It makes your essay seem weak to have that sentence by itself, not really serving any purpose. If you're running out of time, you'd be better off having two strong body paragraphs than one strong one, one ok one, and one weak one. If it's not a timing issue and you just couldn't come up with another flaw, there's a major one you missed: even if all the author's assumptions were correct and rebranding would help bring in some of those 60% of customers, it might actually cause some of the current customers to shop elsewhere, and could even have an overall negative impact on the company's bottom line; what if the new customers weren't sufficient to make up for customers lost through the rebranding?
Anyway, just some things to think about. Good luck with your continued studies!
Andrea A.
Grockit Tutor
https://www.grockit.com

Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:02 pm

by deepak1485 » Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:40 pm
Thank You Andrea ! The third paragraph was actually intended to introduce a strengthener point but I ended up repeating the strengthener in the conclusion .

I actually missed the point you noted.

• Page 1 of 1