GMAT Essays (AWA)

Group #2: Analysis of Issue
Those who are the most financially successful have worked the hardest.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.

The above issue of whether or not the most financially successful people have worked the hardest is a contentious one. While both sides may have their strengths and weaknesses, I agree with the viewpoint that to be financially successful and to retain financial success, one has to work hard.

To begin with, individuals who strive to achieve their best and who work towards attaining success, have to develop their skill sets and build their personalities. After all, money doesn't come free. These individuals also develop maturity and hold on to their ideologies along the way. For example, Bill Gates, dropped out of Harvard to pursue his ambitions. It was a wild dream but he made it a reality. It was through a combination of his passion, determination, and hard work that he managed to build Microsoft. Today, he is ranked among the richest individuals in the world. Although, he is financially successful, he has retained his humility and his passion for innovation.

Additionally, success does not come in a day. It requires years and years of meticulous effort and passion. An apt example for this is the life of Steve Jobs. Despite suffering from a major illness for years, Steve never let his failings come in the way of the Apple dream. There was constant innovation and creativity at Apple. The world witnessed the tremendous success of the iPod, the iPhone, the Mac, and more recently, the iPad. With technological success, financial success was ensured.

Some may argue that financial success does not always mean that the person has worked hard to achieve it. One may have won a lottery and set up a business. But, this success is temporary if the person lacks business skills and true talent. Another example is Dr. Vijay Mallya, the Chairman and CEO of the Kingfisher brand globally and the CEO of United Breweries. UBS was handed down to Mallya by his father. He made is global success. But, he did not work the hardest to make UBS a renowned brand. He only sustained its success. Currently though, his Kingfisher brand is in deep financial trouble. That speaks volumes about his ability to rescue his sinking ship.

Thus, I would say that to be financially successful and to be able to retain the success, one has to have worked really hard to get where he or she is today.

Your start and the structure and the finish are inline.

You can add further about how you can be financially sucessful.

"I, a middle class individual, save my fixed income and do enjoy my life with whatever money that comes above that fixed level". We can enjoy our bonus but we shall save most of our fixed income.

Meaning for 'Economics' has started based on women's management of household activities.
Any individual with a good financial plan within his given boundaries of wealth is a sucessful person.

It would be great if some one could grade the essay and provide some pointers.

Great structure -- do that every time. One suggestion is to make more out of your intro and conclusion; every Issue essay will have two sides (because otherwise there would be little to argue), so don't bother saying it's contentious. Instead, jump in with your agreement or disagreement, and use the first paragraph to list (briefly) the reasons you'll be covering in the coming essay.

The conclusion can mirror this with some different words.