I would very much appreciate your review of my first Analysis of an Argument essay. This is genuinely what I managed to write in 30 minutes (including the time it took me to jot down the plan) and I`ll be grateful for any advice on whether this is too short or will do OK on test day. Thanks in advance.
The argument itself:
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine.
"Scientific research has shown that Clear-One Bottled Water has many minerals needed for good health and that it is totally free of bacteria. Residents of the town where the water is bottled get sick less frequently than the national average. Even though Clear-One is higher-priced than the other bottled waters, it is a good long-term investment in your health".
And... My essay. Behold
Advertising has lately become one of the most powerful tools used to boost the sales of a product on a highly competitive market. To promote the brand of Clear-One Bottled Water, the author of the preceding argument claims that the high price of bottled water labeled Clear-One as compared to its substitutes is justified by its positive effect on the consumers` health. However, the above stated argument is based on poorly grounded assumptions and unsubstantiated premises.
To begin with, the major issue with the argument is that the provided evidence is insufficient. The author states the results of a scientific research, according to which the bottled water in question is rich in minerals and totally deprived of bacteria. The main flaw of this piece of evidence is that we are not sure of the credibility of the research body referred to by the author, as long as its name isn`t stated. A low-qualified research centre may not be a reliable source of information. Therefore, to strengthen his argument, the author would have to provide the name of the research institution he refers to and thus prove its credibility.
Moreover, the author`s argument relies on the questionable assumption that, since the frequency of illnesses among residents of the town where Clear-One water is bottled is lower than the national average, all its consumers will experience an improvement in their health. The argument fails to state whether the residents of this town actually consume Clear-One Bottled Water. Indeed, it may very well be that only a minority of the locals buy this water. Therefore, some factors other than the consumption of the product in question may positively affect the health of the town`s inhabitants. This flaw in the author`s reasoning can be fixed by providing sales figures of Clear-One Bottled Water among the residents of the town where it is bottled so as to justify that the consumption of this product largely accounts for low illness incidence.
To sum up, it must be said that, although the above stated argument may well have merit to it, it contains serious flaws in reasoning which cast doubt on its validity. Therefore, to improve the soundness of his argument, the author would have to provide more substantiated evidence and justify his assumptions.
The argument itself:
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine.
"Scientific research has shown that Clear-One Bottled Water has many minerals needed for good health and that it is totally free of bacteria. Residents of the town where the water is bottled get sick less frequently than the national average. Even though Clear-One is higher-priced than the other bottled waters, it is a good long-term investment in your health".
And... My essay. Behold
Advertising has lately become one of the most powerful tools used to boost the sales of a product on a highly competitive market. To promote the brand of Clear-One Bottled Water, the author of the preceding argument claims that the high price of bottled water labeled Clear-One as compared to its substitutes is justified by its positive effect on the consumers` health. However, the above stated argument is based on poorly grounded assumptions and unsubstantiated premises.
To begin with, the major issue with the argument is that the provided evidence is insufficient. The author states the results of a scientific research, according to which the bottled water in question is rich in minerals and totally deprived of bacteria. The main flaw of this piece of evidence is that we are not sure of the credibility of the research body referred to by the author, as long as its name isn`t stated. A low-qualified research centre may not be a reliable source of information. Therefore, to strengthen his argument, the author would have to provide the name of the research institution he refers to and thus prove its credibility.
Moreover, the author`s argument relies on the questionable assumption that, since the frequency of illnesses among residents of the town where Clear-One water is bottled is lower than the national average, all its consumers will experience an improvement in their health. The argument fails to state whether the residents of this town actually consume Clear-One Bottled Water. Indeed, it may very well be that only a minority of the locals buy this water. Therefore, some factors other than the consumption of the product in question may positively affect the health of the town`s inhabitants. This flaw in the author`s reasoning can be fixed by providing sales figures of Clear-One Bottled Water among the residents of the town where it is bottled so as to justify that the consumption of this product largely accounts for low illness incidence.
To sum up, it must be said that, although the above stated argument may well have merit to it, it contains serious flaws in reasoning which cast doubt on its validity. Therefore, to improve the soundness of his argument, the author would have to provide more substantiated evidence and justify his assumptions.
