Ask Critical Square

I want to use this anecdote of my hazing experience in an essay asking for an experience that influenced my career goals.

"After the slap no. 35 missed my cheek and landed on my nose , I felt the trickle of blood down my nose . No one had ever done that to me before. I couldn't mentally handle that and broke down in tears. I was ready to give up. But counsel of my friends made me realize "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger ". I resolved that night to never let anything traumatic, get the better of me."

From the hazing experience I spent time to read more about tech industry in library as weren't allowed to browse internet , watch movies and TV etc to Besides the epiphany I had during the anecdote, helped me to motivate fellow pledges to not feel victimized like how I had felt. I was able to rally them and we finished our 4 month ritual w/o any one dropping out. I understood that being a leader goes beyond just leading a team.

The point of using the anecdote was not show that ""what doesn't kill me makes me stronger". I was just using it as a intro. This point is only explained in the first para.

I wanted to use this background to show the intensity of the hazing that I had to face daily for 4 months straight. I wanted to show the impact it had on creating a direction of my career.
Impact:
1.The ban of internet and other recreation made me read tech news on library internet as only source of recreation . That let me find passion for tech industry as I read more and more .
2. I tried to protect the brotherhood among the pledges and motivated the pledges and allayed their emotional concerns. I want this to show that I have what it takes to be a good manager who can understand his team and motivate them to reach the end goal.

I hope I was able to make you understand the message I want to convey.

Do you think this is an apt way to convey how I got the interest to pursue this career plan ? Thanks in advance.

CriticalSquareMBA wrote:Hi there - I replied to this on another forum but I've copied my response below for the benefit of other readers!

I'm not a fan of this topic. I see two main issues with it.

1) You weren't actually in danger (we had a client who was the target of an assassination attempt). But more than just that - it would make more sense if you DID something about it. Maybe you realized how ridiculous hazing is and that it is something you felt passionate about changing. But you didn't - you rallied the pledges (which is good) but then you went right along with the game as defined. Personally, I think it's not the best of ideas.

2) To be honest - I see NO CONNECTION between the hazing and your newfound passion for your ST / LT goals. What does the hazing have anything to do with you not having access to the internet? I don't see the point behind you pursuing tech as a victim of hazing UNLESS it's to somehow make hazing better but a) you haven't mentioned that and b) I doubt that is what this is. Because even if you were cut off from the internet during pledging (which is ridiculous) how would browsing tech articles create a passion for a particular subject? There has to be a lot more behind your goals than just that!

Bhavik

Thanks for the reply.

I understand what it can look to someone else.

I wanted to hear a good critique of it and you are right about it.