Doubt over words indicating parallelism

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saurabh2525_gupta: Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts; Posts: 72; Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:06 amFollowed by: 1 member; Thanked: 2 times

by saurabh2525_gupta » Wed Aug 17, 2011 4:51 am

I am doubtful over the use of parallelism indicating words in the sentences. For example, where to repeat words like WILL and where to not.
Like in the example:-

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and start improving the relations between upper management and staff.

The corrected sentence is:-

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and improve relations between upper management and staff.

Thanks in advance,
JOHN

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Source: Beat The GMAT — Sentence Correction | Wed Aug 17, 2011 4:51 am

aspirant2011: Legendary Member; Posts: 1574; Joined: Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:52 amFollowed by: 13 members; Thanked: 88 times

by aspirant2011 » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:37 am

saurabh2525_gupta wrote:I am doubtful over the use of parallelism indicating words in the sentences. For example, where to repeat words like WILL and where to not.
Like in the example:-

The joint business venture will increaseemployee satisfaction and [will] start improving the relations between upper management and staff. --------> Notice the will in green is ellipsis and if the same is put then it causes unparallelism

The corrected sentence is:-

The joint business venture will increase employee satisfaction and [will] improve relations between upper management and staff.----------> proper parallelism is being maintained i.e will increase x and will improve y. Second, will is a part of ellipsis i.e which is not necessary to be put in a sentence if the same has been introduced in former part of the sentence.

Hope I am clear !!!!!

Thanks in advance,
JOHN

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saurabh2525_gupta: Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts; Posts: 72; Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:06 amFollowed by: 1 member; Thanked: 2 times

by saurabh2525_gupta » Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:31 am

Hi aspirant2011,

Thank you for replying.

What is the rule that determines that the second WILL is optional? ( That is the center of the confusion)

Also, what will you suggest for the sentence

The works displayed in the photography exhibition were contributed by numerous artists, both those who already had mass appeal and who never had much exposure.

Can you please give the references of the articles where these rules and discussed/mentioned.

Thanks,
JOHN

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aspirant2011: Legendary Member; Posts: 1574; Joined: Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:52 amFollowed by: 13 members; Thanked: 88 times

by aspirant2011 » Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:41 am

saurabh2525_gupta wrote:Hi aspirant2011,

Thank you for replying.

What is the rule that determines that the second WILL is optional? ( That is the center of the confusion)

Rule is Ellipsis i.e in order to maintain conciseness in a sentence repeated words should be avoided wherever required.

Also, what will you suggest for the sentence

The works displayed in the photography exhibition were contributed by numerous artists, both those who already had mass appeal and [those] who never had much exposure.

If you see above those had been used earlier in the sentence so the second those wasn't necessary,therefore, it was hidden but was self explantory that it was refering to artists who never had much experience. It maintained parallelism by both those x and [those] y

Can you please give the references of the articles where these rules and discussed/mentioned.

I don't remember the links for the references but you can search of BTG, it will be there

Thanks,
JOHN

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mundasingh123: Legendary Member; Posts: 2330; Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:14 amFollowed by: 26 members; Thanked: 56 times

by mundasingh123 » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:39 pm

You are probably overthinking this . You will be tested on issues that are more complicated than the usage of auxiliary verbs in 2nd clauses

I Seek Explanations Not Answers

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saurabh2525_gupta: Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts; Posts: 72; Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:06 amFollowed by: 1 member; Thanked: 2 times

by saurabh2525_gupta » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:43 pm

You are right mundasingh but this is one thing that is pricking me all the while.... So please help me..... PLEASE...

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mundasingh123: Legendary Member; Posts: 2330; Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:14 amFollowed by: 26 members; Thanked: 56 times

by mundasingh123 » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:57 pm

saurabh2525_gupta wrote:You are right mundasingh but this is one thing that is pricking me all the while.... So please help me..... PLEASE...

Do You have the MGMAT SC Guide . If You do , refer to the first page of the Comparisons chapter in the advanced section .Its the last chapter . You will understand when is the repetition necessary and when its not .

I Seek Explanations Not Answers

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bubbliiiiiiii: Legendary Member; Posts: 979; Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:38 amFollowed by: 12 members; Location: Hyderabad, India; Thanked: 49 times; GMAT Score:700

by bubbliiiiiiii » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:11 am

I agree with what aspirant 2011 has said about parallelism.

However, it I had an option as written below, I would have choosen this one.

Also, what will you suggest for the sentence

The works displayed in the photography exhibition were contributed by numerous artists, both those who already had mass appeal and those who never had much exposure.

Here, Both X and Y is an idiom and to make X and Y parallel, both must start with those.

Please correct if I am wrong.

Regards,

Pranay

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mundasingh123: Legendary Member; Posts: 2330; Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:14 amFollowed by: 26 members; Thanked: 56 times

by mundasingh123 » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:28 am

bubbliiiiiiii wrote:I agree with what aspirant 2011 has said about parallelism.

However, it I had an option as written below, I would have choosen this one.

Also, what will you suggest for the sentence

The works displayed in the photography exhibition were contributed by numerous artists, both those who already had mass appeal and those who never had much exposure.
Here, Both X and Y is an idiom and to make X and Y parallel, both must start with those.

Please correct if I am wrong.

You can also see whether the second is necessary by considering the meaning of the sentence.
Both implies that we are considering 2 types of people .
Those who do 1 thing and those do another

I Seek Explanations Not Answers

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saurabh2525_gupta: Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts; Posts: 72; Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:06 amFollowed by: 1 member; Thanked: 2 times

by saurabh2525_gupta » Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:59 am

mundasingh123 wrote:
saurabh2525_gupta wrote:You are right mundasingh but this is one thing that is pricking me all the while.... So please help me..... PLEASE...
Do You have the MGMAT SC Guide . If You do , refer to the first page of the Comparisons chapter in the advanced section .Its the last chapter . You will understand when is the repetition necessary and when its not .

Thanks mundasingh123 for suggesting this.

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saurabh2525_gupta: Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts; Posts: 72; Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:06 amFollowed by: 1 member; Thanked: 2 times

by saurabh2525_gupta » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:29 am

bubbliiiiiiii wrote:I agree with what aspirant 2011 has said about parallelism.

However, it I had an option as written below, I would have choosen this one.

Also, what will you suggest for the sentence

The works displayed in the photography exhibition were contributed by numerous artists, both those who already had mass appeal and those who never had much exposure.
Here, Both X and Y is an idiom and to make X and Y parallel, both must start with those.

Please correct if I am wrong.

Your version is the correct sentence. This is taken from MGMAT.

Thank you for replying
JOHN

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