Hi All,
Please ignore the first post. I will be posting both my essays separately. Below is my first essay.
Hi All,
I plan to take GMAT in the next 3 months and I have been practicing AWA from OG2015. I am uploading my first practice essays below. Please provide me with your feedback and improvement points. Thanks !
Argument -
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company.
"When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees."
Analysis -
The argument states that since Apogee company was more profitable in terms of cost cutting and employee supervision when it operated from only one location, it should close down its offices in all other locations and be centralized. By supporting centralization and improving profitability this argument fails to provide evidence on how exactly centralization would affect its profit. The benefits of centralization would be more clear if the extra costs of operating from other locations were known. For example, whether there were extra transportation costs, or costs of maintaining the additional infrastructure at several other locations.
The argument also mentions that centralization would lead to better employee supervision but fails to consider the convenience of employees working at other locations. For example some employees may be located at different states and my not prefer workin from another location. The argument also fails to consider the additional costs and time required to hire new employees to operate from that one location.
Since the argument fails to consider the points mentioned above and does not throw enough light on how exactly centralization would benefit its profit, it does not sound persuasive and thorough.
Please ignore the first post. I will be posting both my essays separately. Below is my first essay.
Hi All,
I plan to take GMAT in the next 3 months and I have been practicing AWA from OG2015. I am uploading my first practice essays below. Please provide me with your feedback and improvement points. Thanks !
Argument -
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company.
"When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees."
Analysis -
The argument states that since Apogee company was more profitable in terms of cost cutting and employee supervision when it operated from only one location, it should close down its offices in all other locations and be centralized. By supporting centralization and improving profitability this argument fails to provide evidence on how exactly centralization would affect its profit. The benefits of centralization would be more clear if the extra costs of operating from other locations were known. For example, whether there were extra transportation costs, or costs of maintaining the additional infrastructure at several other locations.
The argument also mentions that centralization would lead to better employee supervision but fails to consider the convenience of employees working at other locations. For example some employees may be located at different states and my not prefer workin from another location. The argument also fails to consider the additional costs and time required to hire new employees to operate from that one location.
Since the argument fails to consider the points mentioned above and does not throw enough light on how exactly centralization would benefit its profit, it does not sound persuasive and thorough.
