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Bluegrass musician Bill Monroe, whose repertory, views on

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by BTGmoderatorDC » Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:19 pm

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Bluegrass musician Bill Monroe, whose repertory, views on musical collaboration, and vocal style were influential on generations of bluegrass artists, was also an inspiration to many musicians, that included Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music differed significantly from his own.

(A) were influential on generations of bluegrass artists, was also an inspiration to many musicians, that included Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music differed significantly from
(B) influenced generations of bluegrass artists, also inspired many musicians, including Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music differed significantly from
(C) was influential to generations of bluegrass artists, was also inspirational to many musicians, that included Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music was different significantly in comparison to
(D) was influential to generations of bluegrass artists, also inspired many musicians, who included Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, the music of whom differed significantly when compared to
(E) were an influence on generations of bluegrass artists, was also an inspiration to many musicians, including Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music was significantly different from that of

OA B

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Source: — Sentence Correction |

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by ceilidh.erickson » Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:37 am
This question is testing SUBJECT/VERB agreement, IDIOMS, and CONCISION.

(A) were influential on generations of bluegrass artists, was also an inspiration to many musicians, that included Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music differed significantly from
- "that included" is not the proper modifier for "musicians." It should say "including."

(B) influenced generations of bluegrass artists, also inspired many musicians, including Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music differed significantly from
- no issues

(C) was influential to generations of bluegrass artists, was also inspirational to many musicians, that included Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music was different significantly in comparison to
- the subject of "was influential" is the plural list "repertory, view, and vocal style." It cannot take a singular verb.
- same "that" issue as in A.
- "different in comparison to" is not idiomatic.

(D) was influential to generations of bluegrass artists, also inspired many musicians, who included Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, the music of whom differed significantly when compared to
- same issue with "was" as in C.
- "the music of whom" is an awkward construction; it's simpler and more clear to say "whose music."
- "differed when compared to" is not idiomatic

(E) were an influence on generations of bluegrass artists, was also an inspiration to many musicians, including Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music was significantly different from that of
- "were an influence on" is unnecessarily wordy; "influenced" or "were influential to" would be simpler and more clear.
- "that of" is unnecessary; it implies "different from the music of his own music."

The correct answer is B.
Ceilidh Erickson
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Bluegrass musician Bill Monroe, whose repertory, views on

by Mo2men » Sun Jan 06, 2019 8:17 pm
ceilidh.erickson wrote:
(E) were an influence on generations of bluegrass artists, was also an inspiration to many musicians, including Elvis Presley and Jerry Garcia, whose music was significantly different from that of
- "were an influence on" is unnecessarily wordy; "influenced" or "were influential to" would be simpler and more clear.
- "that of" is unnecessary; it implies "different from the music of his own music."

The correct answer is B.
Dear ceilidh,
I do not understand in choice E why 'that' is incorrect? MY understanding that Bill Monroe has different music than the other musician have.

So I feel that is correct?

Could be correct if it reads:
'whose music was significantly different from that of Bill[/i][/b]'
or
'whose music was significantly different from that performed by Bill[/i][/b]'

I think 'that of Bill/that performed by Bill' means 'the music of Bill/ music performed by Bill'. maybe not the best but is it grammatically incorrect?

Your elaboration is much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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by ceilidh.erickson » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:21 am
Mo2men wrote: Dear ceilidh,
I do not understand in choice E why 'that' is incorrect? MY understanding that Bill Monroe has different music than the other musician have.

So I feel that is correct?

Could be correct if it reads:
'whose music was significantly different from that of Bill[/i][/b]'
or
'whose music was significantly different from that performed by Bill[/i][/b]'

I think 'that of Bill/that performed by Bill' means 'the music of Bill/ music performed by Bill'. maybe not the best but is it grammatically incorrect?

Your elaboration is much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
The reason "that of" redundant is that in the non-underlined portion we have "his own," which is already possessive. (This is similar to saying "my music of mine.")

Since we can't change that non-underlined part, none of the fixes you suggested would work for this particular sentence. If the sentence were changed so it did not include "his own" outside of the underlined portion, then either of your suggestions could be correct.

Does that help?
Ceilidh Erickson
EdM in Mind, Brain, and Education
Harvard Graduate School of Education
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