please rate my essay

[faraday88]

Argument:
"Users of Solacium, a medicinal herb now grown mainly in Asia, report that it relieves tension and promotes deep sleep. A recent study indicates that a large number of college students who took pills containing one of the ingredients in Solacium suffered less anxiety. To satisfy the anticipated demands for this very promising therapeutic herb and to reap the financial benefits, farmers in this country should begin growing it."

RESPONSE:
The author claims that Solacium, a medicinal herb planted mainly in Asia relieves stress. The statement then says that a vast majority of college students who took tablets containing one of the ingredients in Solacium appeared to be calmer. From this the author deduces and an unjustified inference that farmers should begin growing this medicinal herb.
However, the author does not take into account that his example may violate the "representativeness principle": a large number of students who took pills cannot be regarded as representatives of all people. The fact that medicinal herb had a positive impact on college students does not warrant the assumption that Solacium can tranquilize all people who need it.
Secondarily, the author mentions that the pills taken contained "one of the ingredients". It is very likely that not exactly that ingredient, but other substances and factors affected positively students. Furthermore, it might be placebo effect, too: students who took part in experiment may exhibit less anxiety not because of Solacium, but only because they wanted to appear calmer; thus, the cause-effect relationship assumed by the author can be violated.
Therefore it is essential that the author would provide information about many categories of people, not just about college students. Moreover she had to rule out the possibility that only that ingredient mentioned in the passage, not other factors calmed down students. Thus, taken into consideration that the author's conclusion is precipitate and unwarranted we cannot say "yes" to his proposal.

[machichi]

The essay is pretty good and overall I'd say this is a 4.5. Your biggest problems are structural. State up front in your intro what you're going to do in the essay:

example:
The author's claims are not justified and suffer from serious assumptions and confuse cause and effect. As a result, his conclusions are invalid and ill-conceived.

NOW the context. Your writing would benefit from introductory statements. "An underlying issue in the author's argument is the unexplained inference he makes suggesting that farmers grow this medicinal herb. He has failed to show that this medicine is profitable, that this herb is in fact the cause of the calming sensation perceived by students, and that they would be able to export it easily to those who want it."

Finally, use a conclusion to restate your claims.

[happynisha56]

Let me know what do you think of my essay.

First, the argument assumes that Solacium is know to promote sleep. But, there is not evidence to support the same. This is very weak and unsupported claims as there is not concrete evidence or study., research or IND/FBA approval. The argument readily claims hat the Solacium is know to promote sleep and relieve tension. This statement is a stretch as the argument does not provide any study to support the claim from any pharma research. Argument has given weak example of college student relieve anxiety from the medicine whose one of the ingredients was Solacium. Clearly, as there is no mention of the percentage content of Solacium; it can't be assumed for sure its one on the main ingredient as Solacium.

Second, the argument claims that farmers can reap benefits by begin growing Solacium. It is not clear from the argument the growing the anticipated drug will reap the percent of profit to farmers. There is also no mention of supply and demand of Solacium in the world. If there is any duplicate name formula under difference name that can replace Solacium in the market. If the argument have provided evidence to support these questions, then argument would have been much more convincing.

Third, Lack on the evidence to support Solacium is successful in the treating given no. of people in the world. Profitability of farmers in growing the Solacium is unknow. Without convincing answer to these question one is left with the impression that claims is more of wishful thinking than substantiate evidence.

Finally, in conclusion argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and therefore its unconvincing. It could be strength if enough evidence to support the facts about Solacium is effecitve in treatment of stress and anxiety was mention. In order to access the benefits of Solacium, it is essential to have full knowledge of the study, reasearch, market growth and competitors . Without this information argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.