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look through my essay, plz

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by kings » Tue Jan 30, 2018 12:27 am
hey there, I'd like to ask for your opinion regarding my essay on 'If your need for sleep were reduced to only one or two hours, what would you do with the added time while others are sleeping'. Thanks

If my need for sleep was reduced to only one or two hours instead of a full night's sleep, I would use the extra time to watch movies and TV, read books and articles, and build myself into an intellectual and pop-culture superstar.



I don't enjoy being "out and about" at night, so I would use my nocturnal wake-time for low-key activities similar to sleeping, like intaking vast caches of content. As the cultural authority on any topic, I could converse with anyone about anything at any time. That would be my superpower: my vast reserves of pop culture knowledge would effortlessly impress.



I'd review every nugget that the 24-hour news cycle has to offer us. I'd read every paper from cover to cover - or from click to click. I would absorb enduringly musty classics like the oeuvres of Alfred Hitchcock, Buster Keaton, and Orson Welles. I would study treatises by Nietzsche, Saussure, and Hamilton to build my intellectual authority. I would stream all the incredibly hyped TV series that make for excellent office chit-chat, yet somehow slip past me in everyday life, like Mindhunter. I'd catch late-night comedians. I'd read blogs. I'd watch every viral video made by every silly person with a camera. I would scan the instagrams of even B-list celebrities, who are normally beneath my notice, but who do attract some buzz. My thorough cultural review would even extend to the lowest form of entertainment: movies adapted from video games.



These activities surely make the best use of extra hours. As culturally attentive citizens of the world, we are ALL expected to stay on top of memes, hashtag campaigns, and trending topics. Yet no one really has time to do so, so we all consume pop culture in bits and pieces, and we all have different points of conversational knowledge. Imagine jumping into a relevant, absorbing conversation with anyone at any moment!



Now that's a skill certainly worth losing sleep for.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by stel » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:53 am
You've got quite an interesting writing style. generally your essay is fine, no major grammar mistakes, paragraph and sentence flow is good, everything is logically structures. Still, i on't think this is an outstand essay. Probably you should not make it that common like spending extra time on watching tv shows. still that's just my personal opinion -- guess everyone would spend that extra time on different things.

Cheers,
just a writer at official site.
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