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please rate my awa and let me know the errors :)

Expert replies
by susmithasakhamuri » Sat Aug 13, 2016 9:48 pm
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine.
"a recent study of balding men revealed that 80%had higher than normal levels of the chemical compound DHT in their bodies. A second study discovered that rats fed a diet high in animal fats produced elevated levels of the same chemical. In this second study, however, one group of rats did not produce DHT when they also ate portions of wheat germ- a food rich in vitamin E - along with the other foods high in animal fat. Viewed together ,these studies show that the best way to maintain healthy hair and scalp is to reduce fat consumption sharply and to take daily vitamin E supplements."
The above argument states that if people consume more of vitamin E rich foods and reduce fat consumption it would help one maintain healthy hair and scalp based on two surveys conducted.Stating in this way the argument is illogical as the article is based on mere assumptions which are hidden and thus making the argument weak.The conclusion drawn on the basis of the results from the two surveys is quite illogical and thus can not stand.
At first the article says that 80 percent of the balding men had higher than normal levels of the chemical compound DHT and therefore that chemical itself is the reason for the baldness.This sounds illogical because the article did not provide us with any other details such as health standards of the 80 percent men prior to the survey.For example what if 80 members out of 100 members have some other chemical compound also produced in their bodies which led to the baldness?
In addition, the argument claims that animal fat consumption is the reason for the production of the compound DHT from a survey conducted on rats to test the root cause of it.Thus the argument did not provide us with any details about the root cause for balding in people such as vegans if suffered.
Finally the argument says that rats when given with wheat germ a food rich in vitamin E did not suffer balding without providing any details about other ingredients of the wheat germ or any details to prove that vitamin E is the only reason to control the chemical compound DHT.For example what if wheat germ is rich in vitamin C as well and it makes the body resistent to chemical compound DHT?
Thus the article sounds illogical based on mere assumptions which are not provided in the argument and thus the conclusion made by the article that reduction of animal fat consumption and consumption of vitamin E rich foods would help one to maintain healthy hair and scalp is not convincing.Had the article provided us with the above mentioned requisite details the argument would have been strong enough to convince a reader
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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