Help with Modifiers - MGMAT-1

[gmattesttaker2]

Hello,

This is from MGMAT SC Guide P. 93. I was wondering if you can please tell me why my answer is in-correct. Thank you very much.

For each of these modifiers, (1) identify the word or words, if any, that it modifies, and (2) indicate whether the modifier is correct. If the modifier is incorrect, suggest a way to correct the error

1)
Upon setting foot in the Gothic cathedral, the spectacularly stained-glass windows amazed the camera-wielding tourists.

My solution:
Upon setting foot in the Gothic cathedral, the camera-wielding tourists were amazed by the spectacular stained-glass windows.

Book Answer:
[spoiler]Upon entering the Gothic cathedral, the camera-wielding tourists were amazed by the spectacular stained-glass windows.[/spoiler]

Also, will this be correct:
The camera-wielding tourists upon entering the Gothic cathedral, were amazed by the spectacular stained-glass windows.


I was just wondering if you can please assist here. Thanks a lot.

Best Regards,
Sri

[Patrick_GMATFix]

Sri, you will have better luck if you ask one question per post. This will allow the discussion to be more focused.

[gmattesttaker2]

Sri, you will have better luck if you ask one question per post. This will allow the discussion to be more focused.

Hello Patrick,

Thanks for the tip. I have edited my above post and have re-posted the questions seperately. Thanks again.

Best Regards,
Sri

[Patrick_GMATFix]

I don't think your answer is worse than the book's Sri. "Upon setting foot in the cathedral" is equivalent to "Upon entering the cathedral"

The 2nd solution you suggested is not a good one. "upon entering the cathedral" is acting as an adverb telling us when the tourists were amazed. Adverbial modifiers don't have to be placed right next to their target but they do need to be placed in a way that makes the reference easy to understand. Because there is no break between "the tourists" and "upon entering the cathedral", the 2nd sentence is unnecessarily difficult to follow. Just introducing a comma between the two would help (ie "the tourists, upon entering the cathedral, were amazed"). Still a better position for the modifier to make the sentence easier to understand would be "the tourists were amazed by the windows upon entering the cathedral"

Finally, note that all these sentences are passive ("tourists were amazed by the windows"). It doesn't make them wrong but it's good habit to note passive voice because it's typically (not always) weaker than active voice.

-Patrick

[gmattesttaker2]

I don't think your answer is worse than the book's Sri. "Upon setting foot in the cathedral" is equivalent to "Upon entering the cathedral"

The 2nd solution you suggested is not a good one. "upon entering the cathedral" is acting as an adverb telling us when the tourists were amazed. Adverbial modifiers don't have to be placed right next to their target but they do need to be placed in a way that makes the reference easy to understand. Because there is no break between "the tourists" and "upon entering the cathedral", the 2nd sentence is unnecessarily difficult to follow. Just introducing a comma between the two would help (ie "the tourists, upon entering the cathedral, were amazed"). Still a better position for the modifier to make the sentence easier to understand would be "the tourists were amazed by the windows upon entering the cathedral"

Finally, note that all these sentences are passive ("tourists were amazed by the windows"). It doesn't make them wrong but it's good habit to note passive voice because it's typically (not always) weaker than active voice.

-Patrick

Hello Patrick,

Thanks a lot for your prompt reply and for the excellent explanation. It is clear now. Thank you again for all your help.

Best Regards,
Sri