Passion versus formal

[finmaster]

Hi guys.

I'm developing an anecdote and how it transformed me for the Harvard 'setbacks' essay. Now since the incident is very close to me and it radically transformed my personality, it is bound to be mentioned on paper in a very passionate and hence, informal, way.

My question is, do I have the liberty of going for informal (not slang, obviously) language in order to develop the passion or do I have to keep it strictly formal?

[Jon@Admissionado]

Of course you have the possibility. And I don't think there's a straight answer here. BEcause it depends on who you are, who you want to present, and what fills the rest of your application.

But in general let's say that more "informal" or "wacky" essays are a bit like a high risk investment: risk is high, but if you win, you win big. Whereas the classic traditional "I did x" is more like your classic "I'll just invest in a mutual fund"

hopes this helps!

[finmaster]

Of course you have the possibility. And I don't think there's a straight answer here. BEcause it depends on who you are, who you want to present, and what fills the rest of your application.

But in general let's say that more "informal" or "wacky" essays are a bit like a high risk investment: risk is high, but if you win, you win big. Whereas the classic traditional "I did x" is more like your classic "I'll just invest in a mutual fund"

hopes this helps!

Thanks for the reply, Jon. Actually, the thing is that the anecdote I'm talking about reveals the choice I was made to make and how that choice shaped my determination to never let others' preferences stifle my ambition.

It was a very very emotional and life changing experience for me, something which influenced the shape my career and personality will take. It's simply not possible for me to keep it restrained to strictly business-like language.

I'm not going to mention to you regarding the trait I want to convey through this 'setback'. It will be extremely helpful if you could share your thought as to what you think it portrays.

Please also, if possible, shed some light on the following two,

1. Out of total of six setbacks and accomplishments, how many do you think should be devoted to personal issues and how many to professional ones? I believe my personal experiences have played a far major role in shaping me than have my professional experiences.

2. Do professional accomplishments have to be quantifiable? Can I portray more intangible gains like respect of fellow colleagues made through some acts, as one of my professional accomplishments?

3. Will the anecdote of an existing medical condition that I have and how it has not stopped me from dreaming big, help? I'm looking to convey my 'risk loving' ability through this. In fact, I AM a natural risk lover. It's not something that I want to just convey. It's something I am.

P.S. Thanks a lot for the Webinar today morning (it was morning here, then).

[myEssayReview]

Here is what I think about your questions:

1.If the essay question doesn't specify it, you should give equal footage to personal and professional accomplishments . For example, Harvard requires you to describe 'three most substantial accomplishments', so this gives you an option of choosing one personal and two professional accomplishments.

As for setbacks, if you feel that your personal experiences have played a major role in shaping your professional life,feel free to elaborate that.

2. Yes, professional accomplishments should be quantifiable.They should explain the challenge you faced ,the action you took , the resulting outcome of your action and the lessons you learned.

3. Definitely, you can explain how your medical condition has not deterred you from endeavoring to
realize your dreams.

If you find my post useful, please push the 'thank' button. Also, please feel free to email me at [email protected]

[Jon@Admissionado]

You are welcome dude! Glad you liked the Webinar.
Now on to your questions!

1. No rules. You choose the three best stories. Usually there will be at least one professional one.

2. Yes. Completely. Intangible gains are entirely subjective thus not very convincing. How exactly will you PROVE that you gained respect?

3. I'm not sure. It depends on your entire range of stories, and what choices you have made for your other stories. It also depends what you are trying to get across. It CAN be a good idea, and overcoming great difficulties often makes a wonderful and dramatic story, and if it was life-changing it probably does merit a story.

[finmaster]

2. Yes. Completely. Intangible gains are entirely subjective thus not very convincing. How exactly will you PROVE that you gained respect?

Hmm. Well, we have three categories of promotion; below-normal (5 years), normal (4 years), and outstanding (3 years).

I was promoted under the outstanding category, the best there is . I think that should sound like a quantified accomplishment.