Hi, I m petty new here. Please recommend me how to improve my essay, which i use the template found in this forum. Thank you in advance.
Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provide more than its share of the region's manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting company that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.
The companies always find new growth opportunity to invest their money. The topic about where should they go and what should they do is a critical one. In the preceding statement, the author claims that the city of Helios is the ideal place for companies that are seeking new business opportunities or a new location because of the low unemployment rate, the large share of the region's manufacturing job, and the attempt to attract a R&D focusing company. Though his claim may well have some merit, the author present a poorly reasoned argument, based on many questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers, his argument is not valid
The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies in his questionable premises. He states that the unemployment rate at the city of Helios was lower than the regional average, even in the recent economic recession. However, the question here is that does the low unemployment rate is good for business? What if the low unemployment rate means the excess demand for labor and the shortage supply of labor? This situation can make the wage inappropriately high in the city of Helios. Not only the compensation package that the corporation might have to offer, but also the high degree of union labor that might have adversely effects . Clearly, the author's premises, the basis for his argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.
In addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. He asserts that the city of Helios is the industrial center of the region, so it is a good place to do business. Nevertheless, the flaw of this assumption is that the high competition is always occur in the industrial center of the region. Therefore, the company would have to face with many rivals, doing the same business. As a result, the company have to invest a lot of money in marketing and advertising, and thus raise the cost of operating in the city of Helios. So, the author weakens his argument by making assumption and failing to provide explication.
Finally, the article makes the vague claim that the city of Helios is attempting to attract companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies, but does not show how Helios attempts to do this. Without the detail about the plan and the circumstance of other cities, there is no reasons to believe that such companies will choose Helios.
While the author does have several key issues in his argument's premises and assumption, that is not say that the entire argument is without base. He can improve the argument by explain how the unemployment rate is beneficial to the company. The argument could also be strengthened if he prove that why running business in the center of region is a good idea and that the attempt of Helios can reach its goal: attracting particular companies.
In sum, the author's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. If the author want to convince the reader on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate the assumption, and provide evidentiary support. Without these improvements, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios's unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provide more than its share of the region's manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting company that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.
The companies always find new growth opportunity to invest their money. The topic about where should they go and what should they do is a critical one. In the preceding statement, the author claims that the city of Helios is the ideal place for companies that are seeking new business opportunities or a new location because of the low unemployment rate, the large share of the region's manufacturing job, and the attempt to attract a R&D focusing company. Though his claim may well have some merit, the author present a poorly reasoned argument, based on many questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers, his argument is not valid
The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies in his questionable premises. He states that the unemployment rate at the city of Helios was lower than the regional average, even in the recent economic recession. However, the question here is that does the low unemployment rate is good for business? What if the low unemployment rate means the excess demand for labor and the shortage supply of labor? This situation can make the wage inappropriately high in the city of Helios. Not only the compensation package that the corporation might have to offer, but also the high degree of union labor that might have adversely effects . Clearly, the author's premises, the basis for his argument, lack any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.
In addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven. He asserts that the city of Helios is the industrial center of the region, so it is a good place to do business. Nevertheless, the flaw of this assumption is that the high competition is always occur in the industrial center of the region. Therefore, the company would have to face with many rivals, doing the same business. As a result, the company have to invest a lot of money in marketing and advertising, and thus raise the cost of operating in the city of Helios. So, the author weakens his argument by making assumption and failing to provide explication.
Finally, the article makes the vague claim that the city of Helios is attempting to attract companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies, but does not show how Helios attempts to do this. Without the detail about the plan and the circumstance of other cities, there is no reasons to believe that such companies will choose Helios.
While the author does have several key issues in his argument's premises and assumption, that is not say that the entire argument is without base. He can improve the argument by explain how the unemployment rate is beneficial to the company. The argument could also be strengthened if he prove that why running business in the center of region is a good idea and that the attempt of Helios can reach its goal: attracting particular companies.
In sum, the author's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. If the author want to convince the reader on the issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate the assumption, and provide evidentiary support. Without these improvements, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
